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Hi and Aspie/GAD marriage rant.

Community Member

Waves* hiya. Little about me, active in the community country town dweller, unschooling mum to three amaze kids (one autistic, two others HSP), wife to tinkerer, backyard engineer, asd and adhd husband (not on disabilities and not working), youth activities facilitator, social anxiety and GAD sufferer, genuine INFJ alien and an IRL word salad style communicator.

My story.

Stuff is crazy here, marriage is strained and currently overwhelmed from work. I really struggle with speaking to my husband because of so much fear of getting it wrong all the time. I get it wrong lots. Unintentionally lying by omitting details about things or just not stating my thoughts verbally and entirely is a big problem. I'm also really defensive about my thoughts as I constantly feel under attack even when I'm not. My aspie husband struggles so much to try and understand but I don't have the answers to his logic seeking why things are the way they are.

I'm torn between wanting an equal partnership with him like a regular marriage (lol sounds so mainstream) and just knowing that I have to deal with my stuff myself and be a carer to him (without formal status as such). There is lots of blame both ways, (he has expressed that I'm too much for him and wants to leave), and with work, the kids social stuff (has to be organized by me because we don't use schools), having time to spend with my friends and trying to maintain a together face in the community, I just feel like I'm drowning... 😣😢 end of rant...

Wow, yup, being an intense person is an understatement.

2 Replies 2

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi ks, welcome

You have every reason to rant. Being a supermum and super wife with so many disabilities in your family, must have an effect and the result is burnout.

Have you contacted Human Services for assistance? What about Centrelink?. My motto is "you dont get if you dont ask".

This is a good place for people like us. Its anonymous and you van put forward issues that are often answered.

Again welcome here.

Tony WK

Hi WK, thanks for the welcome.
Centrelink are pretty useless to us. My husband has a great mask for interviews and although his psych has said he should be on disabilities, Centrelink rep doesn't listen. 😞 tbh I'm kinda over asking them, especially because the closest office to us is an hr drive each way.
I'm worried about him more lately too because he wants to leave. I often suffer from selective mutisim when we argue and I frequently end up in tears too which is very overwhelming for him. Really don't know what to do. I have a gp but getting appointments here to discuss anything with him is very hard (lots of local olds need the docs attention). My family also has warped beliefs about mental health so I don't ask them for that type of support. Just feel like I'm letting everyone down. I really should be working right now (from home) but my motivation is zero. Feel like I could sleep for a week! 😣 Argh! Sorry, ranting more.