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help needed my husband is hiding alcohol
Dear nogo. You have just asked the $64,000 question re: hiding alcohol. He will hide it anywhere, he may even disguise cordial by pouring it into an empty cordial bottle. His laughing at your distress means he feels superior in his alcohol behaviour. If he has a job, he will take alcohol to work. Your stressing out, means at the moment he has the upper hand. I assume he has his own money so locking him out of any joint account might not be possible. I would consider contacting his boss and letting him know about your husbands alcohol addiction. It would not be breaching, he needs help and the more people who are aware of this illness, the less likely he will be able to have the occasional sip. Is he inclined to be violent, if he has shown violent tendencies in the past, please take care to avoid confrontations. You may have to consider moving away if he becomes agitated. I would also consider contacting Al Anon for some guidance. Al Anon has been formed to support families of alcoholics.
You have great strength to have posted and good on you!
The forums are a safe and secure place that you can post Nogo. I dont mind the occasional beer but 2 slabs every two days is not a good place for your husband and especially for you and your children....
More importantly I can hear the stress your are going through (and your 4 children bless them)
If I may ask you Nogo17 (if not no worries at all) is your husband treating you and your children okay?
The forums are a judgemental free zone as we will never judge you and/or your situation....
I wouldnt look for any hiding places....as the stress of doing so would be way too much.
Beyond Blue have the 24/7 support line if you are stuck 1300 22 4636..they are very kind & caring Nogo 🙂
Its just my opinion on what you have written Nogo, but this is not a healthy environment for you or your children.....especially the way you have been treated when you queried him.
we are here for you Nogo17
my kind thoughts for you and your children
He will also take his empty bottles somewhere else to be dumped as soon as you mention where he is dumping them or he will hide them in boxes.
He isn't concerned about his drinking nor how you feel, which brings me to the question, do you think he has been or still is suffering from depression, maybe because of his
There is always a reason why people need to drink, with me it was depression that made me drink all day long, but now I'm I only drink socially. Geoff. x
Im sorry about the late reply and thankyou again for being on the forums.
I am not doubting your son for a moment that he was punched in the arm. You are still in bad enough place even where the communication (or lack thereof) is concerned.
You also mentioned about the borrowing of large amounts of money too.
The threats he makes about killing himself are disturbing but can be used as a sign he is struggling...a lot
Good on you for seeing his GP.....Besides you being informed that it 'explains his behavior' did his GP say anything else? (just so we can get a better picture and can assist you more effectively)
Please excuse me for another question.....if thats okay of course (if not please ignore). Does he smell of beer after drinking ginger beer?
I think you have done really well by visiting his GP. For your 11 year old daughter to be exposed to her dad even discussing suicide is bad news. You are a caring and intelligent person nogo.....I hope you can report any act of violence to the police. I really feel for your son and daughter.
Your children come first here.....if you are stuck and need a voice on voice we have the Beyond Blue 24/7 Support Line that has very kind people to assist on 1300 22 4636
Please let us know how you are going when you can
my very kind thoughts for you
Hello Nogo, I wish I could give you and your kids a big hug. I did not see your earlier posts but can relate so well to what you have expressed.
Firstly you already have the physical evidence that your husb is drinking..his absence, borrowed money, mortgage payments, unacceptable behavior towards your son and daughter being upset from his threat.
I would count how many cans and bottles my exh drank and it would give me a gauge to how his behaviour would change. Alcholism is progressive..it never gets better unless they stop for themselves and usually they need to hit a rock bottom for this to happen..some never give up.
You and your kids have not caused this, you cannot control it and you cannot cure it. Your husband is a very sick man but he may not see it that way as alcoholism distorts their thinking.
I thought i could fix my exh and over many years became sick myself. My exh never was violent to me but was physically abusive to my sons to the point where my 13 year old wanted to suicide. It still took another 5 years for me to go and by that time our house and business was in a huge financial mess and all was lost.
I am not suggesting that you leave. But i do suggest you get yourself a lawyer and find out your rights etc..please dont waste your time talking to his family..you need solid unbiased guidance.
Pipsy mentioned also to go to Alanon a group for friends and relatives of alcoholics they have lots of very good information and can help you find your way out of your troubles before they consume you and your mental health.
As i mentioned I left so much so late as i really believed that my husb would put the bottle down because he loved us. I found out the hard an lonely way what alcoholism does to the whole family.
There is always hope. Hugx. Lil
He could have it in a container in a hole in the ground and with a plant covering it, or a piece of string holding it attached to the paling fence, dangling over to next door
Whether the money he borrowed was to pay off his credit card/cards
If he has been sick that only means that he's hit it pretty hard, and the reason he gets annoyed looking after the kids is because he doesn't want to tend to them, that interferes with his drinking, so he doesn't want to be disturbed or told off by anyone.
Can you put yourself into his situation, in other words, let's pretend you are the alcoholic, what would you expect could happen,
When I was an alcoholic only because I was deeply depressed, it was one reason my wife divorced me after 25 years of married, she couldn't cope with the alcohol nor my depression and had given up on me, so she needed to start a new life and let me rot away by myself,
I didn't need the grog anymore and that's when I started replying on this site some 13 or 14 years ago.
That's what you need to do, divorce him and start a new life with the kids. Geoff. x