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Help I’ve hit a reality slump!!

Community Member

Hi everyone,

this is my first post on here and it may be a long one! About 2 years ago my husband came to me and said that he though he may be bisexual or gay! I had caught him out a few times looking at gay porn and a stash of female undies, so I left for a week or so and thought and prayed long and hard about things and during this time he assured me that he wanted to work on our marriage and I organised counselling and we tried to rekindle our Intimacy which had been lost along the way. About 3 mo the after returning I began to get sore and stiff joints and severe fatigue, I was eventually diagnosed with an auto immune arthritis and am still struggling with everyday life and finding a medication that will work. So again I guess our relationship went on the back burner as I only just had enough energy to look after my two young children. Anyway about 6 months ago he can to me again and this time said he still felt the same and even think he may want to transition into being a woman! 😩 so I said well that’s it our marriage is over, but with all the COVID stuff happening we decided that we would wait for him to find a place and move out. That was until 3-4 months ago I asked my husband of 12 years to leave our home because I found out that he had cheated on me 2 years ago with a random man!

it has been an absolute roller coaster over the past few months, but I have been coping pretty well up until a couple of weeks ago. I have suffered with depression and anxiety all of my adult life but I have been doing really well for probably the last 7-8 years since I had children. This last two weeks though I feel like I’m sipping very quickly back into my dark days. I’m crying allllll the time and when I’m not crying I just want to sleep. I’m just doing the bare minimum like getting the kids ready for school and cooking their meals etc... but the rest of the time I’m just feeling so down.

my rational self knows that I am actually going through one of the hardest things ever but I’m scared of returning to that person I used to be!
just wanted to share and see if anyone has any positive tips or even just someone to say I’m doing ok

2 Replies 2

Hey KW2012, welcome to and thank you for joining the Beyond Blue forums. 
It sounds like things are really stressful and tense at home. It must've been very upsetting to learn of your partner's infidelity. This is certainly alot of information for anyone to reflect and act on. We're so glad that you've reached out for support tonight and we hope we discuss your situation and offer some supportive advice.  We would recommend that you get in touch with an organisation called Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277. They provide relationship support services for individuals, families and communities and aim to support all people in Australia to achieve positive and respectful relationships. Can we ask if you are still receiving mental health support? Please do feel free to contact the Beyond Blue Support Service anytime on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch with us on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupportOne of the friendly counsellors can offer you some support but also provide you with advice and referrals for seeing a counsellor in a more ongoing way if this is something you feel would be beneficial. Many in our community have experienced similar feelings and will be able to talk through these feelings with you. If you would like to post further, please tell us more about what's on your mind and how we can best support you through this.

Community Member

Hi KW2012,

You've obviously got a lot going on, and at the same time, the world is weirder than usual.

It does help to talk to someone else - ring, have a chat, make an appointment, whatever appeals to you.

You've done step 1 and posted - well done. And step 2?