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Help - I have an 8 year son, who is really struggling

Community Member

Hi all.

​I am in need of some advice. If possible.

​I have an 8 year son, who is really struggling. Based on some research, to me, he has Separation Anxiety.

It is mainly towards me.

A bit of history, in 2015, his dad and partner (we are separated, 5 years now) took the kids for 3 months. As a nasty custody issue.

So, I didn't see the kids for that time. It's now shared equal custody. But since then, my son has been up and down.

At the moment (a very big down) he is constantly feeling sick when he has to go to school. He gets extremely upset, says his heart hurts (we have been to the emergency a few times as I wasn't sure what was happening). He says he feels sick in his belly also and his head hurts.

He is okay going to dads, (he has since left partner, and we now are friends) but that's it.

I made him a 'special book' with photos that he can have at school, but he threw it at me today saying it's just a stupid book and it won't do anything.

I'm completely lost and have no idea how to help him.

He has been seeing the school counselor, but I don't see any improvement.

Any advice would be so much help.

1 Reply 1

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Bjt

Welcome to the forum. I am sorry you are having such hard time. It is difficult with young children to discover what is wrong at times as they do not the words to explain, or they simply don't know what is upsetting them. I wonder if seeing the school counsellor is enough. I'm not sure what qualifications they have, though I am sure they have some. It seems to me that your best bet is to have a chat with your GP.

He/she may say your son should go to a psychiatrist who works with children, or possibly a psychologist skilled in working with children. The sooner you get the right help for your boy the happier he will be. As I said, he may not be helped as much by the school counsellor as someone else. I am not denigrating this counsellor and of course he works in a school with children so it seems reasonable to take your son there. However, what he is experiencing, or what he appears to be experiencing sounds far too complex for someone with out a great deal of training.

I always suggest people start of with their GP who should know who are the best people to help your child. I know my GP sent me to a wonderful psychiatrist. Not for children probably but someone who can help me.

I hope I am making sense here. Please let us know how you are going.