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Hi all, I've been here before, but don't post very often.

Same story; I've been a carer from a young age due to my mum's head injury..

I'm re-enrolled to study in July, very soon, I'm close to booking flights and sorting out accommodation for myself. I'd be moving town to study and work and leaving my mum behind on a single payment (dsp).

No-one seems to care much, not even my aunty, about the fact that if I leave, my mum will be homeless. We have always shared rent and expenses together, I'm now going on 26 years old. There is minimal housing available, she's not interested in share-houses and the cost of tent site is up to $50 a day.

I wonder what my life would have looked like, if not having been a carer, or what it will continue to be if I don't pack and leave this situation. I am genuinely concerned about how my mother will cope on her own, with an acquired brain injury. She's not physically disabled, but she does have many health problems, and she is incapable of working due to her health.

What do you think, honest opinions appreciated

18 Replies 18

Dear 24yearoldgirl
Thank you for showing such courage in posting and sharing your experience.  We are really sorry to hear that you are having these feelings at the moment and that you are worried about finding the right supports for your Mum. It sounds like you care very much for your Mum and it’s understandable why you hold so many concerns about moving forward.  On the other hand, you are deserving to live life to the full and be able to thrive also.
You might like to check out the following resources which has some information on what other supports are out there in terms of alternative care options for you Mum
Brain Injury Australia
In addition to posting in the forums, we also invite you to call or chat to one of our trained mental health professionals who will also be able to listen and offer care; it’s completely confidential and available 24/7:
To call us, contact 1300 22 4636
To use webchat, Click Here 

Thank you again for joining this community, we hope that you can join other conversations that resonate with you and read about other users and their journey to better mental health.
Kind regards,
Sophie M

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello 24yearoldgirl, a difficult and unfortunate situation as I've sustained a brain injury from an assault and live by myself with a carer who lives a couple of streets away from me.

Your mum can be enrolled with NDIS, then there will be benefits and assistance to help her in many aspects, so if you can have a look at this site may be able to help you/your mum in many ways.

It's difficult to say what your life would have been like but possibly you might have already received your qualification but one option could be that she may be admitted to a one bedroom unit that is attached to a nursing home, where she can look after herself, cook meals that is if she is capable of doing this.

Ask me any question you like.

Best wishes.


Thank you Sophie M & Geoff for your replies..

It is very stressful sorting my own accommodation out, but then having to worry about what my mum is going to do. I think I will be leaving to study, as I paid a discounted price, and it will be a new experience for me.

It's very sad that my mum would have to resort to sleeping in the car, as there's no housing etc. as I mentioned she's not interested in a sharehouse either 😕

Feel like I need therapy, it seems as though she'd want me to stay forever because it's easy that way, both our needs are met. But I'm not experiencing an independent life as a young adult, like I should be.

I'll try phoning the beyond blue line, and maybe carer's line too..

Kind regards, Jade

Hello Jade, can I ask if NDIS have been contacted because there are many benefits which could help your mum.

Best wishes.


Morning.. unfortunately not.

My mum has been following the brain injury website that Sophie mentioned. However, my support worker met up with mum last year, and tried to get her onto NDIS, she wasn't interested in housing or any kind of help. It seems she wants me around to help pay the bills etc.

Also, my mum drinks wine every night, she's not physically disabled, and is able to cook and drive etc.

Although, in her defence, she definitely has a permanent brain injury, and is on cancer-meds for nausea, she's had many strokes in the past, and neuralgia..

She complains of having to get anti-depressants if I leave her 😕

I am stressed! I feel selfish for leaving. Trying to book a flight, at the same time knowing mum will be sleeping in the car or a tent, if she can afford a tent site.

It's like I'm waiting for a guardian angel to drop out of the sky and tell me that it's okay to leave. :'(

Hi 24yearoldgirl,

I would not want my children (both around your age) to give up living their lives to look after me.

You need to do whatever you can to get her settled of course, and draw on as much support and as many resources as you can so that you know she is being taken care of, or able to take care of herself with help. That's my perspective if that helps.

My heart goes out to you for having to deal with such a difficult situation that requires such hard decisions. I hope you can find a way to do what's best for you and your mother.

Best wishes.


Hello Jade, I am terribly sorry for what your mother is going through and trying to cope with, however, she doesn't need to sleep in the car or a tent because NDIS are there for people in your mum's condition, so it's not fair to want you stay with her when she can get help from other sources.

It's not fair to deny you a chance to improve your own skills by studying, this doesn't mean you won't be in contact with your mum, you can do this at any time of the day/night, especially if she can drive as well as cook, a parent needs to release their children for their own benefit.

I could name many reasons for my son to live with me, but why, he has his own life to live and I can function adequately by myself and I'm not going to restrict what he wants to do, so you shouldn't feel guilty catching a plane, you have a new life waiting for you.


Hi Geoff & WaterFront..

I have booked my flight leaving next week! I'll let you know if I take it 😕 For my own sake, hopefully I will.

My mum's opinion is that there is no help for her. It concerns me that she'll want me to stay with her, to be able to afford rent, bills and groceries. I'm going on 26 next week, so hopefully that gives me the motivation to leave.

I guess I'll only know if it's the right thing, after actually leaving.

Keep you updated, hope everyone is well with whatever they're going through 🙂