Hello - I'm at my wit's end

[pvroom]

Hello, I am completely and utterly overwhelmed by life right now. I have two autistic and ADHD kids who are home 24/7 as they cannot attend childcare / school for many reasons. My husband has severe depression, he's also autistic and ADHD. I love them all! But I am like the personal assistant, mum, wife etc. I am over it!

I can't talk to anyone because every single person says 'make your kids go to school' etc. I've had childcare providers tell me they can't help me. I've had childcare providers tell me it's in my head and question my kids diagnosis (please see my paediatrician GRRRR). It's sooooooooo frustrating.

We need help. My husband is on the edge, I can see it, hear it, feel it. I'm worried. My kids are beautiful but hard work. So hard.

I'm sorry for venting. But, I just feel trapped.

[Amanda2000]

Hi pvroom,

I share your frustration as the personal assistant, mum, wife etc. for my family.

I often imagine travelling back in time before having kids, before my post-natal depression, before my ocd, before my noise-anxiety, before a life of endless household chores everyday. Wouldn't it be lovely to be able to enjoy the weekend again instead of having to watch the clock to allow time for multiple loads of laundry etc. It's like living under the stop-watch everyday and I want to get out!

For me, talking to others doesn't help because I know I will still be in the same situation regardless. So I've tried to adopt the mindset of our grandmother's generation - just get on with things and accept the responsibility is just the way it is. Maybe we just need to "ride it out". It's a phase in life and the bad feelings will pass one day.

[hopeforusyet]

I came here today because i was feeling low, but i read your post and i feel selfish now. I wonder if responding can help you feel less overwhelmed. Your situation sounds like a whirlwind of emotion. I only know that young humans improve as they become adults and that ADHD adults are near invisible amongst us. I am a musician and something of an artist so i'm going to suggest that you find immersive activities that are not skill/brain centred. Fingerpainting, dancing, singing, that kind of thing, and be intuitive so that you can enjoy being in it as well as your kids. Immitate birds, tv characters, make it fun. ADHD means a different kind of attraction/interest. I wish you all the best in finding some life space for yourself, and your partner too.

[pvroom]

Thank you Amanda2000 - I know what you mean, part of it is acceptance. Part of it is letting go what isn't important. But I have to be mindful of my anxiety and tendency to fixate on solving problems

[pvroom]

hello and thank you for posting. We do a lot of LEGO and dancing and trampoline!