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heartbroken post breakup

Community Member

Hi everyone! I'm new here and have just recently broken up with my partner of 2 years the past Sunday.

My partner had moved overseas 7 months ago and we where "having ago" at a long distance relationship. I went to visit him earlier this month for a couple of weeks, The moment I arrived I felt very out of place with him and that I no longer fitted into his life there. I was hoping that we would discuss my moving over to be with him there but it went the opposite way.

Upon my return home all I have done this week is cry and sleep. I know in time I will feel better but I just feel so heartbroken and alone and I am having trouble being able to move past that. All I have done the past 5 days is sleep because it's the only time I don't cry.

11 Replies 11

Community Member


My heart is also breaking for you. I completely understand where you are coming from. I was with my partner for 2 years also and I moved out 2 weeks ago with nothing and had to start again. It has been a couple of weeks for me and I still feel empty and lost. Tell me more about your situation? This is definitely the place to share. Do you have support around you? I don't have many people to talk to and when I do, I feel like a burden. I know exactly how you are feeling, it is very painful and isolating and you feel like you are the only one in the world going through it. I can tell you that no contact is definitely for the best otherwise you will just start from day 1 each time. If you're like me you won't have any answers about why this happened and that's something I have to live with. I can also tell you that each day is getting better. I have moments where I am feeling good and positive and then others where it hits me very hard and I break down again but I can tell you it is getting easier each day/week. You're not alone!! I promise.


I'm sorry to hear you are also experiencing this. My partner moved overseas for work oppertunites after getting out of the defence force last year. I believed our ling distance was working OK enough as it could through Skype and whatsapp. When I visited at the beginning of this month the entire time I was there I felt it was just off and I didn't belong in his world over there and when I asked about his thoughts on if he would want me to move over to we can give us a go oversea, he said he is enjoying being on his own. So that was that.

I think sharing my story has helped. I agree though no contact is best for me also. I am happy to listen to your story if you want to share.

My family and closest friends live interstate. When I moved to Victoria a 2 years ago, my partner was one of the first few people I met and we where together since, now I'm here on my own again and it just feels so much longer.

Just Sara
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Welcome Sistersister and *.

It doesn't matter how old you are or what your situation is; a broken heart is deeply painful. I hope you have some support, maybe a shoulder to cry on. I hear your hurt and grieving words and know that hurt from my own experience. I'm on the downhill run from a break-up; grief and acceptance.

Please be kind to yourself. Sleep if you need to and cry all you want. Keep up fluids and not the alcohol kind; that'll only increase emotions.

Your body is doing what it's supposed to, it feels something is wrong and is releasing the energy. Try not to 'think' too much and then cry about the thoughts, your body will continue to hurt and you'll re-traumatise yourself over and over. Allow yourself to 'feel' the pain in your body. Sometimes it can feel as if you can't stand it any longer. But you will survive.

I wish you all the best and hope life gets a little easier each day. Stay in touch on BB forums. There are many wonderful and supportive people to hear you and help in any way they can.

This too shall pass...Dizzy x

Thank you for your kind words Dizzy!

It has been a tremendous help sharing and having people listen

dear Sistersister, welcome to the forum and thanks for posting your comment.
There has been a ggod amount of support from people who have experienced the same trauma, which is really good for them to share.
Can I say that long distance relationships rarely work, because there is so much spare time or time when they can go out at night and socialise, in other words have another person over there, so that's when he says that he is enjoying himself over there, in other words he may just want to be friends and that's all, which I'm sorry to say.
I wish there was an easy way to break up with someone who you dearly loved, and even though you try to keep yourself occupied, unfortunately we have our weak moments where we tend to break down, however it would seem as though you need to end this long distance talking on skype, because this is only feeding your anxiety, and as hard as it is now, it will soon pass as soon as you meet someone else, and that's what I really hope you try and do.
I was married for 25 years and even now I miss her, but know that we could never live together again.
I'm absolutely sure that you are a caring and beautiful person, just as the other two are, so I'm sure that you will have no trouble to find someone who loves you, as you would to them.
Please keep us in touch. Geoff. x

Thank you for your kind and wise words Geoff!

I have since early this morning removed them from all social media and it feels good !!

After reading through other forum posts I have taken the advice of joining a local meet-up group. Even just signing up to a social activity has improved my mood, ☀ if you haven't though about it yet, I would recommend giving it a go!

Hi sistersister. No matter whether it's long distance or next-door, when any relationship breaks down, it hurts. When I was younger, I used to torture myself wondering what my ex bf was doing, who he was with, where he was etc. The more I heard that he was happy and contented without me, the more it hurt. I think Geoff's idea about stopping contact until you're emotionally 'past' the initial hurt is a great idea. I have become a person who tends to shy away from people who have hurt me, as the more contact I have the more I suffer. In time, you may be able to be friends with your ex, but for now, take care of yourself, you do need to grieve so you can heal and grow. Maybe see your Dr about some mild AD's to relax you. There's no shame in admitting you need help in that department. I don't mean sleep, I'm talking generally.


Thank you Lynda,

I have diaconnected myself from all social media ties and have agreed with bothcyou and Geoff that no contact is definitely the best option for a while.

I will definitely be thinking about talking to my gp. I went outnifnthe house for the first this morning and felt sick. I really didn't think I would feel this heartbroken.

I known that I will be OK but it's just hard to see past the grieving sometimes.

Thank you all for listening!


Hello Melanie;

I thought I'd pop in and check to see how you're going. Some great advice has come your way. I hope you're being kind and patient with yourself.

A few days ago, I felt really sad in my heart. It wasn't painful, just sadness and a 'lull'. So instead of laying down and crying, I decided to just feel the sadness and breath through it. I potted around the house accepting I felt downhearted and gave myself permission to have a 'me' day. After a while I received a phone call and then a text from someone. I needed to deal with these people and the sadness faded. I was back in my life dealing with normality.

My relationship broke up a few weeks ago and my emotions and thoughts were in over-drive. I went through the torturous stage thinking about 'what if's' and the 'why's and what for's'. But someone said something to me that changed things. She said; "How much energy, time and effort would you put into an investment that isn't paying any dividends?" Relationships are investments in your future. If they're not working, the only thing to come out of it is loss. Invest in yourself - your body, mind and soul- for your future. There is no 'us' when only one person is putting in the effort and time. When you do this, you'll attract another who invests in their life too. Then there can be an 'us'. Balance...

Love and respect yourself and be kind...Dizzy x