Hi, welcome
So, you haven’t begun to live with him yet. I can only say there is various levels of subjectivity in this problem because people have vast differences in what happiness is.
To be content with the level of affection and accept that these feelings of doubt can be within normal levels is ideal of course. Eg happily married people do often wonder what it would be like to live with, say a neighbour, that might not have the same flaws as your partner has etc you might even find that person attractive.
Say a psychiatrist found a patient attractive. He/she must enforce their professionalism to remain as a patient/Dr relationship. But they are human to have feelings.
”Over thinking things?” Quite likely. Many members here with various mental illnesses have mania or slight many due to partial crossover or fragments of other illnesses. This could mean for example that my bipolar could include some borderline personality disorder or ADHD etc.
So a racing minds that can include things like- guilt, low self esteem, self created doubts, insecurity, moods and so on. Sometimes medication can quell these symptoms enough for us to leads near normal lives, some need therapy to bring them into the tolerable zone that will allow you to move forward.
Acceptance can play a huge part in this because our symptoms is also a part of us, some of those parts that lie outside the boundaries of normality is also normal for us, it’s just that the majority don’t have those same symptoms. Furthermore, some of these so called flaws aren’t hurting other people so what is the problem? The problem lies in harmony- harmony for you and other people, as to whether or not you should seek professional help or not.
Please enter into the search bar the following threads you might find relevant
worry worry worry
the frog and the scorpion
variety and distraction
anxiety, how I eliminated it
guilt the tormentor
Repost anytime. You’ve posed interesting questions in particular how you feel your relationship is not valuable enough to fight for.
TonyWK
