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He wont leave

Community Member

Hello, I need some advice. I am in a same sex scenario with my now ex partner. I call him my ex but he won’t accept that and just gaslights me every time I try and deal with the situation about separating (we were married, recently divorced and stayed together because of covid) - now covid is over I moved out to my parents and he is staying here temporarily.

I have asked him to move out and in response tells me that I have ptsdm and apparently knows everything about this subject (like everything else) and makes me feel like there is something wrong with me. Anyway I just want him out of my life, I am not sure I am even gay anymore and have found Jesus and his is all so confusing. I want him to leave but he won’t accept the fact that our relationship is over. I really don’t want to involve the police (this situation is embarrassing because I don’t want to involve my parents) and I am worried that he will have no where to go (I know sounds stupid) I told him to move out by the 2nd July but he doest seem to take me seriously.

I haven’t seen my friends since being in this relationship and have had a very depressed mood, I know it needs to end so that I can move on with my life.I have had two temp protection orders in the past as the aggrieved (which I have dropped before going to court) and just got a third last week where he has to be of good behaviour, he is not violent but we things get heated we do fight and things get thrown around.. Can you please offer me some advice.

3 Replies 3

Dear Abc1234a,
Firstly, welcome to the forums we are so glad that you found your way to this supportive and welcoming community. We hope that you find ideas, options and support from the shared experiences and knowledge of all our members. Please feel free to express yourself and your concerns openly and without fear of judgement as this is a safe space.
If you wish for the relationship to end, then that is your choice, and your ex must accept this and move out. Unfortunately, from the description you have provided this may not be as straight forward as hoped. It is good that you have the temp order in place, but we would recommend discussing the situation with your local police. We understand that it is embarrassing for you, but you could ask them to be discrete and it could become a condition of the temp order potentially, if this is permitted. Finding a place to stay is your ex’s problem to solve and not yours, please don’t put this burden on yourself.
Thank you for sharing your story with us and we hope that you can recognize the strength and resilience you have already shown tolerating these behaviors from your ex for so long. We hope that you are prioritizing your mental health and safety, can we ask have you spoken to your G.P about your depression?
If at any point you need to reach out, we are always here for you. Please remember if you feel you need to talk though how you are feeling or honestly do just need a chat, please contact Beyond Blue either via phone 1300 22 4636 or web chat: http://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support
Have you ever spoken to 1800Respect? They offer a multitude of services to assist with healthy relationships, domestic abuse/ violence and have trained counsellors available 24/7. You can call them on 1800 737 732 or access their site and web chat via https://www.1800respect.org.au/
We would also like to recommend contacting QLife. QLife is a free and anonymous service run by LGBTIQ+ peers for those wanting to talk about a range of issues including sexuality, identity, gender, bodies, feelings, or relationships. They operate between 3pm and midnight each day and can be called on   or chat via https://qlife.org.au/resources/chat
If at any point those heated arguments become overwhelming and you believe you may be at risk, or you no longer feel safe we urge you to contact emergency services on 000.
We hope that you find the support and direction that you are seeking on the forums. Once again, we are so glad you have joined the forums and we hope that you feel welcomed into the community. 
Warm regards
Sophie M

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello ABC1234A,thanks for mentioning your concern.

Can I ask you a question, are you renting a place with both names on the lease or likewise if you have bought a property and it's in both of your names.


Community Member
Thank you Geoff for your reply. Neither of us are on a lease I am just boarding with my parents temporarily.