- Beyond Blue Forums
- Caring for myself and others
- Relationship and family issues
- He’s taking a break from me
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Mark Topic as New
- Mark Topic as Read
- Pin this Topic for Current User
- Printer Friendly Page
He’s taking a break from me
We have been together for two years. He needs a break from me because I am draining him down with my depression and constant neediest.
I agree I do get needy. I have to change or else he will leave me. I am so scared. I love him so much.
I have to become more independent. It is so scary. It is basically challenging me to fight my inner most demons.
I think he wants a break for at least a week. It’s killing me. I hope it gets better. The thing I am scared of the most is himself. I don’t want him to get depressed or worse. I worry about him.
I need to change. Will he be ok? I needed to get this off my chest. No one else is up.
We often do place too much pressure on our carers, in your case it has become too much and I do think he will likely split if it continues.
The remedy here is imo not stopping from discussing your problems,it is channeling them elsewhere, to people that understand and willing to listen.
Your decision to come into this forum is a sound example of what I’m talking about. You are anonymous, you can do research here on any mental health topic using the search bar and you can do it 24/7/365...even xmas day.
Group therapy is another way. However like waiting for doctors appointments you can’t log on when in need.
So I would suggest you show him this post. Let him know that we understand the pressure he is under and also know that your depression is difficult to contain eg cope with alone.
I will give you a few examples of threads here that can help you. Use the search bar at the top of the page-
they just won’t understand-why?
Depression and the timing of motivation
”Normal” people will not understand
worry worry worry
do YOU need a jolt?
depression- a ship in the high seas
depression, distraction and variety
nip it in the bud-ideas
talking to men- some tips
Finally, caring for him, if you are capable of visiting the bathroom or getting yourself a drink or snack, then you are capable of getting him a cups upon his arrival home from work. This should be a tradition as is asking him how his day went and really listening to him. He won’t look forward to home time if he knows he’ll get words on you struggling as harsh as that sounds. However, he might, once you’ve listened, ask how you have been, Then if you mentioned how you read up on,say, motivation, he will see progress... and be more enthusiastic