Has anyone been in this situation?

[Guest_342]

Hello. I am in a long distance relationship - we've been in contact since just before the pandemic began and, due to lovkdowns and border closures, have missed many opportunities to see each other. So we're only just now starting to talk about him making the move from Adelaide to here. He is in a job that doesn't allow him the chance to really succeed in his area of work and he's recently been offered a job through an acquaintence for a very short term contract but it will be a great experience above and beyond what he's doing now - it would probably open the door to other opportunities that he mightn't get if he doesn't take the risk and stay in his current job. So, if he does the new job, he'd stay in SA for a few more months and then would look for work here. But otherwise, if for some reason the short term job becomes unavailable (eg because he has to give his current employer more notice that the time the new job can wait) he said he'll resign from his current job and move here anyway. But the risk with that is he might struggle to get work. He would have to resort to dipping into his savings while he searches for work here. He doesn't really like his current job. He's confirmed he wants to move here. I own my place and have a good job and am highly motivated. I worry that today he sounded less motivated to take this risk with the job offer and that he might be stuck in his work rut and then struggle to find new work here. While I am ok with him being out of work for a month or so, I don't want it to be an extended thing. I will be resentful. I thrive off having a partner who is driven. Otherwise I feel like the energy/motivation gets sucked out of me.

I don't want to risk him moving here and then finding put that he's not going to be motivated to get a job and work towards something he likes and can contribute to a life together. Because then I'm a bit stuck because he would have given up so much to be here.

[geoff]

Hello Guest_342, being in a long distance relationship has been difficult for so many people as lockdowns have prevented seeing each other for a long time, too long in fact and has made any connection to be frustrating.

How will he handle the move interstate, leaving family and friends behind because this may make him decide what to do, although I bet you want to see each other.

If he comes over, he has to decide whether or not he likes the job and hopefully, this will happen, but can't be sure until he starts, but can't expect you to carry him for too long as you own your house, have a good job and highly motivated.

The only reason he wants to come over is to be with you and be employed, but for you to carry him on the proviso he will have a job next week may not come to fruition and will start to affect you.

Moving interstate may always seem to be the solution to be with the person you love and may seem to be ideal, but only if the two of you are working and enjoying life.

Besr wishes.

Geoff.

[Guest_342]

Thanks Geoff.