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GF broke up with me not sure what to do.

Community Member

First time posting and I'm not going to give you my life story but I need some advice.

My GF, well ex now, I'm concerned for her mental and physical health as I've seen her decline for over a year and I tried to support her the best I could and in the end she's just ended things cause we had a few fights. One day she loves and wants me, next day it's over this has been going on for months.

I just want to know, should I contact one of her best friends and tell them, not in detail because there's 3 sides to every story mine, hers and the truth but just that I believe she isn't in a great place and needs serious help and support? or should I just let sleeping dogs rest and ignore it?

I still love her and want her and want to protect her but I can see her heading down the path of self destruction and so can my mum who use to be really close with her.
2 Replies 2

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni


Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums and thank you for being open. It looks like you really care for your ex, which is a good thing. You have a lot of empathy.

If you believe that she will harm herself then maybe contacting her directly is the best idea. I am sure she wouldn't mind you asking her about her wellbeing.

If not, then asking her best friend should be fine.

Stay safe and I am always here to chat.

Community Champion
Community Champion

Hey Ole Swampy,

Thank you for being so vulnerable in sharing your situation. It would be extremely hard to see somebody that you care for deeply going through an incredibly difficult time. Regardless of whether or not you are together, you still wouldn't want any harm to come her way which is admirable.

Do you think talking to your ex with focus on aspects of her wellbeing would be received by her? Perhaps sending a non-judgemental/non-confrontational message that not only reassures her that you are concerned, but presents ways in which you feel comfortable offering support to her might be a good place to start. If you are stuck, try and think of ways in which she previously felt comforted by you.

I think that if you have identified a potential risk to her wellbeing or safety, it should never go unchecked or ignored. If you believe that her best friend can be of great support to her, it might be best to get into contact with her. I think that putting less emphasis on details like you suggested is a good way to go about it.

In the meantime, ensure that you are also checking in on yourself. It's never an easy position to be in and can be extremely taxing if you aren't taking care of yourself too.

I wish you all the best in navigating this all, please don't hesitate to make best use of these forums in future too!