Hey Ole Swampy,
Thank you for being so vulnerable in sharing your situation. It would be extremely hard to see somebody that you care for deeply going through an incredibly difficult time. Regardless of whether or not you are together, you still wouldn't want any harm to come her way which is admirable.
Do you think talking to your ex with focus on aspects of her wellbeing would be received by her? Perhaps sending a non-judgemental/non-confrontational message that not only reassures her that you are concerned, but presents ways in which you feel comfortable offering support to her might be a good place to start. If you are stuck, try and think of ways in which she previously felt comforted by you.
I think that if you have identified a potential risk to her wellbeing or safety, it should never go unchecked or ignored. If you believe that her best friend can be of great support to her, it might be best to get into contact with her. I think that putting less emphasis on details like you suggested is a good way to go about it.
In the meantime, ensure that you are also checking in on yourself. It's never an easy position to be in and can be extremely taxing if you aren't taking care of yourself too.
I wish you all the best in navigating this all, please don't hesitate to make best use of these forums in future too!
