Forgotten or Invisible

[Margstarus]

Hi all, I just have to get this off my chest as it affected me last week and now it has hit me again! So, I've been through lot this past year. My husband told me he'd been having an affair for the last two years with our neighbor. Then a month later as I was still with him, he had sex with our close female friend but I didn't find out until the neighbor texted me at work to inform me. Then he told me it wouldn't work anyway and he'd been unhappy for years. It came as a shock. All year its just been up and down. That's just background to why I'm fragile. I suffer from diagnosed depression and am treated for it.

Anyway, last week my workmates went around collecting for a man who has left his wife and has moved out. I feel so selfish for getting so down about this. No one got a collection together for me! Why? Is it because I keep my problems to myself? Am i just invisible? Now they're collecting for a casual nurse from another country who was only staying a couple of months. Come On, when does it stop? This is all leftover from when I left my old job. 10 years work $40 bucks in an unsigned card and three people came to my farewell. $40! And they're wanting to buy an opal for this casual nurse! I just feel paranoid, invisible and worthless. I'm a good person but not good enough to be noticed

Thanks,

[white knight]

Hi marg welcome

I'm afraid I have to disagree with you.

I do understand your disappointment, however, it is dangerous territory to compare gifts and level of help.

People don't usually deliberately discriminate between others. But whatever you get from workmates, be happy and appreciate. And whatever others get, albeit much more than yourself, be happy for them.

This world is a grey world. It is made up of imperfect people. If you continue along the path of comparison it will only contribute towards your depression.

Be grateful. I remember feeling the same once. A work friend got a lot more attention than I when he was off sick. I mentioned it to a co- worker and he told me that the mans brother had passed away.

I ate my words.

Tony WK

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Margstarus,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for posting.

I can see that you've been through a lot in the past year and that it's been hard for you. It doesn't sound like it would have been easy and I'm glad that you don't have to be hurt anymore from your husband.

I think that the fact your work is collecting money sounds a bit unethical in my opinion; it doesn't seem fair to collect for people who are having personal experiences like affairs and divorces. You said that you kept your problems to yourself; how were the workplace supposed to know or collect for you if they weren't aware that you were struggling?

There is so much more to you than what's happened in the last year. Depression can often make us feel smaller than we are - like feeling worthless and invisible. But it's not true. You are more than your husbands affairs. You are a daughter. Maybe you're a mother too. You have family. Maybe friends.

Not having a collection tin for you doesn't make you invisible; only you have the power to do that. Keep seeing the counsellor - tell them what you've told us; and together you can work towards a better future.