First baby and my wife hates me she has PPD /A and I don't know how to handle everything at the moment.
Having a new baby in the house can be exhausting. They take so much energy, time, thought, sleep deprivation and then your wife having PPD/A on top of all that. It sounds like you are doing as much as you can to support her and maybe you are in need of some support yourself. Is your wife receiving treatment for her PPD/A? I'm thinking that maybe you should be talking to your GP about the pressures you are under in relation to this so that they can refer you to the appropriate place for you to get some support also, or even as a couple.
Please let us know how you get on if you are up to it.
Im sorry that your self and your wife are going through this, I understand…
I understand when your wife is texting you a lot during the day I believe it’s because her anxiety is high and she may not like being alone.
Sometimes with the anxiety it makes the suffer feel they have to be with their baby 24/7 and they don’t like having the baby out of there sight . It really is a horrible condition for the mother to go through… Has your wife seeked help for what she is going through? There are clinics that your wife can go to that specialise in mental health conditions after the birth of babies…. ( perinatal)There are usually a psychologist and psychiatrist that run out of the same clinic…..they understand these conditions….
Im sorry that you feel the way you are feeling you too could benefit from seeing someone at one of these clinics….. (perinatal )…
If your wife hasn’t seeked help I strongly encourage her to do so.
I’m here to chat
Hello dBrad, I feel sorry for both yourself and your wife, as I know what PPD/PND is, as my wife struggled with it, and the more you tried to help, didn't make any difference, it still wasn't enough, but understand it's not her fault, it's an illness that can happen, although I'm not a doctor to comment, but I also developed PND.
Whatever has been said to you is because of this illness and once she can overcome this, then these comments are generally forgotten, but at the moment they hurt you, PANDA on 1300 726 306 9 am to 7.30 pm would be able to help you and/or your wife.
If you can contact them, then ask them whether you can have some time off work and not knowing what you should be doing, then these people will be able to help you.
They will give you skills so that you can become a stronger dad, unfortunately, they were just starting to set up when I had it, so I didn't know.
You can't cope with this by yourself so you can also seek advice from your doctor and if you're able, try and get your wife the help she needs.
Really like to hear back from you.
Thanks for your reply.
I understand you live in a regional area but by the way you have described your wife I believe she really needs to get more professional help……
Postnatal anxiety is a horrible condition and needs treatment…. I understand your wife sees a psychologist once a week do you know if this psychologist is experienced in post natal?
There are also psychiatrists that specialise in this condition…
I would encourage yourself or your wife to call PANDA ASAP as per the number above that Geoff has provided…. they may be able to give you details of a postnatal clinic near yourself. Some hospitals take in mothers and babies to help with post natal mental health conditions…
Does your wife still have appointments with her child health nurse?
Please come back to us if you can…
I'm not hugely familiar with who she is seeing, and today I had to get her to go as she did not want to as she felt it was more important to be home, today was a particularly difficult day, she has at the moment decided that she does all the hard stuff and I get it easy, but I basically cook, clean and spend as much time with my son as I can as 9 months is a great time for him and he's generally a really happy baby, I can't do any washing as I will not do it right, I can't hang it as I won't do that right, you get the idea even nappies are not done how she wants them, it's like I can find my own lane in this journey, she gets particularly angry if nappy changes do go smoothly she will throw them or something and curse loudly, I get quite annoyed at this behaviour as I feel it's not great for my some to be around it, he can sense it's not going well, I will get read the riot act if I do anything wrong around him, I'm rapidly heading to a position now where I litteraly don't care about her at all, I will call panda on Monday but any advice would be appreciated
Sorry today was a hard day, please try not to take it personally, it’s something that is happening inside your wife…… please keep encouraging her to seek help from a professional and yes please call PANDA they will be helpful.
I understand this is also hard for you also from the way your wife is treating you I encourage you also to speak to a health professional about the way you are feeling.
I think PANDA could help you both.
Please keep reaching out on this thread for support.
Hang in there