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i’m 32 low income and i have made the mistake of having a credit card debt. yep i know don’t need to tell me twice. but my parents just found out the extent of it. i have nothing to show for it, that’s not the bad part.. the bad part is now my dad would like to have access to my login bank account details and see my spending. yes i know i have made a mistake in trying to rectify it.. i was going so well mentally and now all of a sudden i can’t sleep, i can’t be bothered to go to work and i have stopped studying..
the moment i feel happy someone comes along and tears it down. and i’m back where i was.
how do i make a parent understand that yes i have made incredible shit on my finances.. i was prob depending beyond my means .. just wanted to be like others in my life... i rarely socialise and spend my time at home other then working.
i have only slept 2 hours tonight and about to call in sick for the 3rd time this week, i can’t be bothered to drive there serve 300 people and hear there woes. but i’ll prob get up and go and fake it. call the bank and close two accounts.
i know i should of been upfront. and now hear i am contemplating maybe everyone would be better off debts suck, going from a high income to a low income sucks.
I feel how frazzled and stressed you must be...you sound exhausted and perhaps you feel a little embarrassed too. I think financial woes can seriously affect a person’s mental wellbeing. I think all this stress is playing on your mind a lot, so perhaps it’s no wonder that sleep has been a struggle...
I understand why you would feel so uncomfortable with giving bank a/c access to your dad. I imagine that would be embarrassing and make you feel like you’re being monitored/feel a loss of autonomy, no matter how well-meaning he might be...
I think sometimes managing finances can be hard, especially as you said, if you’re surrounded by people in different financial circumstances to you. I understand that’s difficult, and can empathise with why you made those choices...
I wonder what do you think would be a good next step for you in terms of finance situation? I hope that’s okay for me to ask...I know you said that you would like to close 2 bank a/c. Perhaps maybe you might like to have a calm sit-down chat with your dad as he seems to want to help...I don’t know how you feel about this though...
I am thinking about you and I understand how difficult this situation is for you. It would be lovely to hear how you’re doing when you next feel up to writing here. That said, there’s no rush or pressure to reply to me...just when and if you feel up to it.
Kind and caring thoughts,
Hello Amy, and a warm welcome to the forums and also thanks Pepper for your reply and well done for reaching 4000 posts.
Sorry Amy and I know it's so easy to spend money when we don't have it, however, can I suggest you visit Anglicare and I say this because I was in a terrible state when my wife left me and they were fantastic, all the letters and phone calls stopped from the creditors who had taken over the debt.
Please let me know if you would
Hi Amy (and a wave to Geoff),
I think Geoff might be onto something there with his Anglicare suggestions. It sounds like he might have some helpful personal experiences to share...
Geoff, that’s very kind of you. Thanks so much. I’m grateful for this special community space and the lovely people here 🙂
Kind thoughts to both of you,