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Finding my lost family.

Community Member

Hi,i have quite an interesting life ones of ups and downs. Today I like to talk about my family. My father and his whole family have decided before I was born in the 70s that they didn’t want me to be born, as I was out of wedlock in a religious family and a teenage pregnancy. It got to the stage where a priest of this religious family tried to talk my mother to have an abortion and even offered money for a holiday. Thankfully my mother had me. Some agreement today which I not fully shore off still today had allowed my father and his family to have no connections or financial support of me at all. This meant no name of my father on my birth certificate and having my mother’s maiden name. 35 years later I met my father for the first time. It was very hard as I was keep a secret and his other 3 children and maybe his wife didn’t know I existed plus Aunty and uncles.

My father who I have in my life now for 3 years. Is still quite distance and I find it hard to just forget the past. His children are very successful and have achieved so much. I had come from harder backgrounds of step family’s, countless family breakdowns and intense dramas and dealing with Autism and delays to achieve things that other achieve more earlier.

i only got my mum and my girlfriend in my family. I have a step brother who I class as a brother but he been affected with drugs and have had his child taken by Docs. I don’t have much of a communication with him. My nan and pop pasted away 10 years plus and they were the rock of my family. My mother had got brothers and sisters but only half and they also don’t treat her as family so they also abandoned us many years ago.

I was hoping to get close to my dad and his family but sadly feel that my life and upbringing is too much for him or not to the level he sees as good in his eye.

I feel that no matter what I do it not be good enough. I feel like I can’t reach the heights that makes him proud of me.

1 Reply 1

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Hang 10, welcome

An interesting life indeed. A few things come to mind.

In an ideal world it is you and you alone that should impress you. But of course we love the endorsement of our parents and others. For this reason Im wondering if counseling with or without your dad would help?

Your situation is not unique here. We have a lady named Ggrand who has a thread "alone depressed sad" that had a child adopted 38 years ago. She might be if help.

I hope you hang around for others to comment

Tony WK