Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Feels like no good choice

Community Member

My relationships are definitely taking a strain because of physical and mental problems. And i need people more than ever but for i dont feel i can safely be this way around them

to expand on that, i have lost this month people who i love so deeply. We had plans to move in together only for everything to end this month. After a while of distance they said there was problems between us they tried to fix on their own and cant. Theyre living the life we dreamed of without me now. I still know them which sometimes feels like more than i deserve knowing that i hurt them but i shouldnt complain lest i encourage one of the only things keeping me going to completely cut me off. I dont have negative feelings towards them they did what they had to but my heart is broken and i wish they couldve told me what was wrong. I feel like that wouldve been better. Or at least could have been. But they made the decision they did so

then theres a friend group i largely havent seen since december. Sometimes i would drop out of plans or look unwell during them because of my mental health and disabilities and that makes me feel insecure too. Even if my mental health improves im probably always going to have these chronic pains. But i guess being less than 100% is too much for them so as much as i want to meet up again im so scared. I will just hurt people more if dinner upsets my stomach and i need to sit to the side for a bit. Its more complicated than that. I know there are people in the group who care, and its possible the ones who trigger traa not 24 hours old or seem to not have the same interest in my existence they do the rest of the group do. But at its core i feel i need friends but

I also know there are other people. I am meeting new people but im in too much pain to do my part in encouraging those relationships grow. And i worry eventually I’ll hurt my other friends just like i did both of the above. Ive never not lost someone.

2 Replies 2

Dear CaramelCrisp Thank you for the courage you have shown in this post.

It really can be distressing how our mental and physical illnesses can make relatioships difficult; more so when it leaves our valued people - or even more so a special person - not knowing how to deal with the situation, or how to truly connect with us.

That said, one group of people not knowing how to be there for us is not evidence that no-one will know how to be. There are so many types of people in the world! Absolutely, it takes courage and resilience to keep trying and keep improving - but hey, so does posting this post!  We want to take this opportunity to remind you that, whilst this forum is not able to provide help in real-time, our team at Beyond Blue are available to you 24/7 - please call us 1300 22 4636 or if you are more comfortable you could try our webchat feature: https://beyondblue.org.au/support-service/chat

And hey, we really want to take a moment to acknowledge how exhuasting and hurtful your experience has been. In doing so, we ask that if you are feeling unsafe in anyway, please call 000 immediately.

Thank you again for being in our community, and we do hope to hear from you!


Sophie M

Thank you Sophie.

I put a few helplines in my phone today for when I need to talk to someone actually. I've never called before and it's a little scary but I think when I need it I will do that. I just wish I hadn't lost people, it would be easier with people I know. And yeah, it can be hard for them too. Thats clearer than ever I guess.

And, I'm safe right now. I hope I stay safe, Im trying to