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So recently I found out that my dad is not my real dad and my partner of 3 years has known for more then half of that. I have just told her that im not happy with where our relationship sits and I’m currently starting to feel really worthless. I have never felt like this before and I’m just not sure what to do.
Why do you feel worthless because your dad is not your real dad ? Its not your fault at all. It is something you couldn’t control . I think your partner probably found it hard to break the news to you and was trying to protect you from the truth . I know that sucks ...but sometimes people stumble over what to do ...thinking they know its good for you .But take some time for yourself .It is a bit of shock to the system i can only imagine ...you would have loads of questions i guess ...like who then is your real dad ? And what the hell happen with real dad?
But remember you are here today and that means you are loved and cared for by the people beside you .So you shouldn’t feel worthless....although it a bitter pill to swallow ...something tells me you are loved.
Try some meditation video ..I remember going through stuff and these mediation videos helped me Jason Stephenson - let go mediation ..search on youtube .
let it help you go to sleep .
stay well and keep writing 🙂
Hi Damien123 and a warm welcome to the forum!
The first thing that comes to mind is 'grief'. Whether it comes down to a loss of trust or the loss of a belief you held so dear to you (regarding your dad being your biological father), such losses can be life changing. Such losses ask that your self be redefined, carefully (with care).
We define our self every single day, in a variety of ways and the key phrase in doing so is typically 'I AM':
- I AM Damien
- I AM a male
- I AM ___ years old
- I AM someone who lives in _______
- I AM someone who works as a _______
Of course, the list goes on.
Seeing we may use our I AM not only to define our self but also, at times, to define our value or worth in this world, how much worth did you put in the following?
- I AM someone who is the biological son of my father
- I AM someone who is the partner of a woman I trust completely
If you placed a lot of worth in these beliefs to the point where these beliefs gave you a sense of pride and reassurance, I can understand if you are feeling worth less than before you knew the truth. To put it more simply, if we feel we are worth less then we can be left feeling worthless.
Damien, we place an incredible amount of power and value in certain beliefs but in reality, they are simply beliefs (thoughts). Seeing that when our thoughts change we change, perhaps the real power is found not in our beliefs but in our ability to change through them, to evolve.
You are still as valuable now as you were before you learned a couple of new truths. The question becomes 'How are you going to choose to evolve through these truths?' Perhaps you could start with the following:
I AM Damien and I AM someone who will change and evolve through newfound beliefs.
Hi Damien, I appreciate what you have told us and thank you or posting your comment.
There are four issues here to find out that your dad isn't your real dad and secondly the trust you thought you had with your partner has been broken, could it be that your mum has disclosed this to her and if so then her trust has also been damaged.
The third is that your dad hasn't told you, but maybe he wanted your mum to, but I understand how annoyed and confused you are, I would be no different, and the fourth is that your mum didn't tell you.
Is it possible to get an arbitrator whether it's a doctor or a psychologist to sit down between you all and discuss this issue, it's need to be addressed for your own
I feel so sorry that you have been put into a situation like this.
Please get back to us because we have all struggled with our type of depression and have needed to be able to talk with other like kind people.