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Feeling unsupported in marriage :(

Aria87
Community Member

Firstly, id like to put it out there that i understand everyone is struggling with restrictions at the moment 😞

For the past 7 months i have been dealing with my husband being unhappy with my family. Which have turned into confrination on both sides in which they are currently not speaking. Husband VS my family.

This has put a huge amount of pressure on me, as since this my husband thinks its okay to continually talk or make comments about them even though im trying to move on from this situation.. which causes more anxiety for me. My husband doesnt understand my anxiety and he gets frustrated himself by this.

It is now day 4, in which my husband and i have not spoken. And ive never felt so alone in my life as i do not speak to my family about my marriage (as i dont need anymore pressure or comments added to the fuel) and with friends in lockdown, i cant see anyone.
My husband decided that he didnt want to continue to have dinner with me at the same time, which now seperates our 3 year old who he has dinner with. I hate this. So i just let him go with his dad and try hide the fight so he doesnt worry his precious little heart about anything.
Im over crying and my son seeing it, he thinks mums tired when she cries. Id prefer this than he actually know im upset.

Im just so lost. The more i try understand sides and care who feels what and try make this situation go away, the more torn and sad i become.

2 Replies 2

james1
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Aria,

I'm really sorry it's taken you a while to get a response.

I understand you are feeling really alone right now, as your husband has cut off contact with you. That must be so heartbreaking to deal with, especially as you are trying to do the right thing and keep your son out of it as much as possible.

It sounds like the fighting between your husband and your family has really spilled out now and you are caught in the middle, torn between the two. I can understand why you might be feeling really anxious and sad about this, as you try to move on but nobody else seems to want to.

While you aren't able to see your friends, do you mind if I ask whether you are able to pick up the phone and speak to them? I know it doesn't help with the situation at the moment, and I really hope your husband decides to grow up a little and talk - 4 days feels a bit too long to be honest - but it might just be nice to be able to speak to someone in person.

James

Hi Aria,

I just want to echo what James was saying about how heartbreaking your situation is. It really sounds like you are trying to do your best for yourself, your son, and your marriage. I agree with James that four days is a very, very long time to go without speaking to your life partner with whom you share a house. I'll second his suggestion to reach out to some friends, and of course we are always here for you on the forums in the meantime.

Warmly,

Gems