Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Feeling overwhelmed - like things have and will never get better

Community Member

feeling a little deflated looking at the grand scheme of things. There are people a lot worse off than me, and I'm not being abused and I do have friends whom I adore, but things still just don't add up here..

My family, social, love and work relationships are way out of balance, despite my overly high sense of self awareness and effort to battle through and improve things maturely and respectfully. My relationship with myself is good most days with hard work and perseverance, but then I have the familiar realisation come round, almost like a cycle in which I realise how fake my positivity and persistence is and I realise that overall, my life is a joke and I'm soooooo sick of trying to improve things.

sometimes I just break down and want to give up, and just accept that I am a pathetic annoying loser who should stop kidding herself that she could one day actually have solid friendships or even just a best friend, a partner that treats her right, a nurturing home, a successful job - like it seems that most other people I know seem to have. (And that is NOT in my head!!) And don't even get me started on the social pressure in terms of appearance!

i feel like I am a good bloody person and I deserve those things, especially with how positive I try to stay, the advice and listening I always grant others and how hard I work towards achieving my goals!

But when nothing EVER goes right - and people always disregard you, bail on you, cut you off or talk over you, ignore you, abandon or manipulate you... as self pitying as it sounds, it honestly just seems like this life is never going to get better for me, and I should just accept it and move through the motions of my mediocre life and be done with it. Stop trying.

I don't even know where to begin. I hate feelings!! I hate feeling not good enough. I hate people telling me it's all in my head and to 'be positive' when I am, most days, the most postive damn person in the room! I hate people that won't acknowledge reality. My reality that I am trying to reach out and express! I hate when people think sadness or loneliness is a disease or an inconvenience to their day that should be ignored, pretending that it doesn't exist, just 'play happy all the time!'

I want to get back to (that uphill battle) of feeling positive, but there's just so much I want to offload, heavy stuff, petty day to day stuff... Hopefully this thread helps to get some real understanding where numerous councillors have fallen short

3 Replies 3

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hello Dillon, OK there maybe people worse off than you or me, but that's not the point here you have posted in a comment where you feel lost and there's a point you make which most of us tend to do and that's compare ourselves to what our friends/family are doing in their life, but when you look at the situation does it really matter if one of them is a Judge in the court room while we are on unemployment benefits because of our circumstances that have suddenly hit us, unfortunately in life that's what happens.
When we are feeling low then this will upset us and could lead onto depression, because we don't feel good enough, but there are many issues why it does happen which we forget about, but other people pick it up and then decide to leave you alone from joining them, so these people who we thought were friends aren't that at all, and what ever they have to say is only to benefit themselves in the pecking order.
Your reality is to once again begin to establish yourself in what you want to do and not what these other people say against you, because this will only pull you down, so perhaps a psychologist can teach you CBT to gain strength within yourself. Geoff.

Community Member
Hi Dillon5

I may not be able to offer much in advice, but what I can offer is an appreciation for your experiences.

I totally know what you mean when you say “i feel like I am a good bloody person and I deserve those things, especially with how positive I try to stay, the advice and listening I always grant others and how
hard I work towards achieving my goals!”
You make all this effort and still nothing pays off, no one treats you well, just take advantage them dump you. You pretend you’re happy, try to act like everything is fine and for what...ultimately it just makes you more and more despondent.

And yeah there is definitely an assumption by other that if you “keep your chin up”, “stay positive” “work at it” things will get better that feels utterly patronizing, when you do these things but what is really causing you problems is the things outside your control, like social pressures and other people’s actions - you can't control it but you pay the price for it.

I don’t consider what you’re feeling self-pity, you’re doing your best to struggle through and getting nothing from it, your anger is completely justified. You’re not a “a pathetic annoying loser” you’ve just come to a point where you see things as they are and don’t like it.

I know it is no consolation whatsoever that I know sort of how you feel, but that’s really all I can offer, hopefully it provides some comfort that you’re not the only one who thinks the way you do. If I could suggest one
thing it might be to find somewhere you can go (or escape to) where no one knows you and you just be as angry and annoyed as you like, give vent to everything, offload everything yell scream and shout if you want, just be/do whatever you feel like, free to be human with all the emotions and imperfections that encompasses.

I truly hope you get the friends/partner/home/job that you want, that you are rewarded the way you actually want to be in life.

Community Member

Hi Dillon,

I stumbled across your post whilst looking for advice for myself and I'm glad I did. I hope things have been looking up for you since you created this post. I unfortunately do not have a lot of advice to give you as I can relate to everything you have written.

You sound like a very caring person, lending your time to others and staying positive around people which is a great quality to have but remember to keep taking care of yourself and allow yourself to release your emotions.

I can relate to all the feelings that you say you go through and I know how badly it can hurt and bring us down but remember you are not a pathetic annoying loser. I know words don't always mean much when we feel so down but you have been able to show great to courage reach out on this site which is not a quality of a loser.

Unfortunately in life people do disappoint us, even my closest friends have upset me with their lack of compassion, and some people come in and out of our lives like nothing ever happened. But there are many people out there that exceed our expectations in times of need, some who you wouldn't imagine in your wildest dreams. Posting in BB is a great start as I have found out there are many people on here who genuinely care.

Just remember there are many great people out there and you are living proof of that.

Take care