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Feeling lost and lonely

Community Member
Hi, I have joined this as I have nowhere to go and no-one to talk to about the problems I have. Most days I struggle with life, I have a job that leaves me feeling totally drained and exhausted mainly from feeling overwhelmed with my work load and excluded and isolated from the other staff. Don't say "get another job" I have been trying for nearly 2 years now but as I am on the wrong side of 50 and already employed most employers won't even consider me. Also as I would need to give notice most employers want you to start 'now'. I have gotten short listed and even had some interviews to be passed over due to other applicants being available to start straight away. I have major struggles trying to get my wages to stretch to pay basic living costs, and when I find out that my ex husband who managed to get everything in our divorce has just himself something else it is upsetting. We were married for 23 yrs and I left the marriage as I know if I hadn't I would not be here today and I only managed to leave as my eldest son helped me as I couldn't see any way out I didn't have any money for bond or rent or anything and I didn't feel that I could go to anyone for help. He didn't hit me or be violent at all but now I know that what he did was make me feel useless and everything was my fault. I have no friends and I see on tv they say get out and join groups great idea but most cost money if only for fuel to get there so it's not an option I live in a rural area where the nearest town is 24 ks away. I lost my mum 3 years ago and she was the only person I had to talk to about my problems. My children are nearly all adults now as my youngest will be 18 in early 2018 and I can't talk with them about my problems they just want to be able to come to me with their problems. I am so over being the responsible one their dad barely had anything to do with them and I'm tired. I have struggled all my life to just get by, my mum had a very hard life and we lost her just when she believed her life might get better. Truly there are times when I just don't believe that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Sorry for the long rant I just thought it might help to get some of it of my chest.
2 Replies 2

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi, welcome.

I can relate to you very well.

In 1996 I felt compelled to leave the family home. I was suicidal but obviously survived.

I hope you dont mind reading. I have several posts below that, if you read the first post of each, will help you.

Use google

Topic: the best praise you'll ever get- beyondblue

Topic: the balance of your life- beyondblue

Topic: 30 minutes can change your life- beyondblue

Topic: never ever give up- beyondblue

Topic: cheap recovery idea, camping- beyondblue

Topic: worry worry worry- beyondblue

Topic: be radical- beyondblue

Tony WK

Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear MsCJ~

I will join Tony in welcoming you here. (He has some pretty good ideas in those links)

Your life sounds very stretched at the moment and has been for a long time. It sounds as if you did a good thing for your mental well being to separate from your husband. That sort of abusive behavior is terribly destructive and leaves a long shadow.

It looks like you are one of those people that normally puts others first, both in your job and your family. This is all very well but when it harms you then you really do need to rethink and try to look after yourself, you are important and entitled.

If your job is lousy and there is an iron-clad firm offer of another then just quit and apologies afterwards. You would not be the first person to walk out of poor employment .

With your children, your eldest son helped you before and I would image would want to keep doing so, perhaps to help you find better employment, perhaps to help find accommodation that is less isolated.

Rural areas do have their downsides with isolation and he expenses of travel. They often do have strengths too with a stronger sense of community, everything for agricultural shows to church functions to catering for community organizations. I live in such an area.

While you offspring may come to you with their problems it is probably beneficial to them to see everyone has hassles and they can play a role in helping too.