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Feeling lost and confused

Community Member
Hi I'm new to hear and I guess I'm reaching out to anyone! My son who's 8 is in such a bad place. My ex and I separated when he was 1 and he lived with me until 11 weeks ago when he was telling me he wanted to live with his dad! I explained to him that it will not be the same as when he goes every fortnight. There is school and more rules.. I thought this would make him happy as he was always angry, constantly yelling and thinks everyone doesn't understand him. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, it involved him moving schools and now him seeing me every fortnight.. he comes over and starts off ok then he goes back to this angry boy again.. I'm so confused and can't have him come back home as I can't cope with the stress as well as my parents who I live with both are effected by it and end up sick over his attitude.. my daughter who's 10 resents her brother and doesn't go to her dads because she doesn't have a warm relationship with him and his new wife is not the nicest of people.. I'm soo lost
2 Replies 2

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Tfgirl

I don't have any experience, directly or indirectly, with what you are going through so I don't know if I can offer you any worthwhile advice, but I wanted to welcome you to BB.

IMHO I would think that you might want to enlist the help of a child psychologist to endeavor to find out why your son is so angry all the time.


Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear TFgirl~

Thanks for coming here. You sound very worried and pressured - naturally enough as it is a very difficult situation and there is no rule-book ,guide or experience to help you know what to do for the best. This combined with feeling for your son in his unhappy state.

From what you describe your 8 year old is in a bad place, and SB suggestion of getting him professional help - if you have not already done so - seems very sensible. I'm not sure how this would work unless either your ex agreed or the school pressed for it.

It sounds like a case of 'the grass is greener' which prompted him to want to live with his dad. Unfortunately explanations will not have done any good against an emotional state and only time will make hm realize if he is not loved and looked after there. If your ex's new partner is not the nicest of people that might not take long.

I would imagine you might have had be with your parents after the split and having to live with them does limit your options. Hopefully your 10 year old and they get along.

I said at the start you were under a lot of pressure. Can you share the load by talking frankly with someone? You need all the support you can get. If I were in your position I'd visit my GP and explain the situation and get is advice. Constant unrelenting pressure and worry can have serious effects.

It would be good is you were to come back and say how things are