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Hi, I'm 27 yo living with my partner of nearly 2 1/2 years, my 16 yo brother in law and his 16 yo friend. I have been struggling with both depression and anxiety for almost 2 years. In that time I have also had 2 mental breakdowns and have left multiple jobs.
Before my relationship, I had the seemingly perfect family and friends. A lot has gone on and none of my family or friends have taken the time to know my partner or take any interest in my new life and have completely disappeared. I have no one to talk to other than my partner, her brother and her family, which is extremely difficult.
We struggle financially and the guilt I feel for not working anymore kills me. I feel useless.
I am starting to get angry more often and more quickly than ever before. I am getting physical towards my partner who I am certain left me this morning. I am not a violent person, I have never been THIS angry in my life. I am taking all my anger towards myself, my family, my failures out on my partner and I need it to stop.
I have no one else to reach out too so I thought this might be a good idea.
Thank you in advance.
Hi Loveisfluid. Welcome to the forums and hope we can help you. Congratulations for reaching out. You've taken the first major step and that's good that you recognize you need help. You have an unbelievable amount of emotional pressure in your life. It's sad that you've lost contact with your own family, is it because they don't approve of your partner. Even though you say, they don't know her, perhaps pre-judgement has driven them away. Depression is such a major downward spiral at the best of times, but when you feel so alone in your world it's harder to deal with. Lashing out at your partner when there's no-one else around to help you is something everybody does. Unfortunately, when we feel as though there's no-one but us, we do tend to lash out in anger when we feel as though we're a burden. I would like to suggest you get along to your Dr to see if you can get to a therapist or psychologist. The emotional roller-coaster you're on is isolating you from getting help because possibly you feel as though you shouldn't be like this. If your partner has decided to distance herself for a while, wait till you hear from her. In the meantime try to see your Dr. When your partner does contact you (I'm sure she will) let her know you're getting help. Please don't call yourself a failure, people who need help are not failures, it's when they won't admit to needing help that they fail themselves and everyone in their life. Could you get in touch with your own family just to say hello. You need the support of family and friends while you're on this emotional roller-coaster. It's good you've reached out here, that's a great start. I'm just so sorry you feel so isolated.