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Feeling helpless, Im stuck!
Hey hopeisgone, well done on coming onto the forums in search of advice and the first piece of advice i am going to give is that, there is always hope. Hope is what drives us, never think there is no hope.
You have so much going on it's any wonder that you are feeling like you do, so lets break this down.
- Hard childhood. Are there any lingering issues from your childhood? Do you think that your childhood is still impacting on your adult life? If so, we need to get them addressed.
- Who has your son now? Is his behavior still as it was when he was with you? What treatments is he getting? Do you have a relationship where you can communicate well with his carer?
- Does your husband hate him because of the way that he treated you or because he just doesn't like him? Was there ever a time where they got along?
- If you are not working due to looking after your girls, then hubby has to go to work. One cares and the other earns. Is there a specific reason why he doesn't want to work?
- Seeing the counselor, if you are not happy with her, get another one. You do not owe them anything, they are a service. If you are not getting the service you want, move on.
- Being told to focus on the things that make you happy may work for a very short amount of time, if at all, but unless the core issue(s) are dealt with, you will never get out of the rut that you are in.
It really sounds like that hubby does nothing around the house and you are left with everything and to top it off, cannot see your son.This is a terrible situation to be in, no doubt.
Have you or are you able to sit down with hubby and explain most of this? A marriage is a partnership, it's 50/50. He needs to pull his 50% - certainly not saying that you need to leave it ASAP but you need a break, you need a hand.
Sorry for all the questions but it is hard to get a handle on the story when there is a word limit.
Hoping that you post back and see if we can't work through a few of these to get you in a better place.