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Feeling disconnected from my husband..

Community Member

Hi.. First time poster. I'm feeling very low lately and I dnt know what to do. Iv been with my husband for 6 years, married for 2. Things have never been perfect but I love him. I feel like I'm always having to compromise myself for him and that if I don't, things just won't work. Iv only realised this is the case in the past few years. It's got to the point where I have to try n watch what I say to him to not make him angry. I feel like he would rather spend his time with his friends instead of me, and im slowly catching him out lying to me about it. I always feel like I'm put last. I feel really unappreciated and taken for granted. I feel like I give him anything and everything he asks for but never seem to get the same back. He doesn't enjoy doing spontaneous couple things that people should do.. And everytime I suggest we do or go somewhere he always says no. I'm so sick of it. He has to get his way with everything and it seems what I ever want isn't important. When his upset I'm the one he takes it out on.. Always. He speaks to me rudely, immaturely and sometimes calls me names. The more I think about this as I'm writing it making me realise how unhappy I have been. I just dnt know what to do... I feel alone.. Most the time. And as much as I hate to admit it, maybe he isn't good for me.. Even though I love him.

1 Reply 1

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hi BK, it seems as though he is wanting to dominate you and leaving you to last on his list of priorities every way he can, but you surely deserve to have a life of your own, I'm don't necessarily saying for you to leave him, but all of this needs to be change, but I am frightened that as he already verbally abuses you that it doesn't go that extra step and turn into him being physically abusive, and this could happen if you decide you don't accept what he says and I'm sure that this is what you maybe scared of.
You seem to be in a 'no-win' situation here and there's only one solution here for you if you decide and that's to leave him, but then there is the worry that he won't track you down and 'beg' you to come back saying he will change, but then he will just go back to his old self, so this is something you have to think about what you will do, so before I make any suggestions I would first love to hear back from you. Geoff. x