Feeling broken and under appreciated.

[Thetiredwife]

I’ve been depressed my whole life but I’m highly medicated for ptsd and still struggling. I have a family of special needs kids, I work .7 and my husband who I’ve been with for 20 years is emotionally distant. Always has been. I feel like I’ve spent all this time setting myself up for failure. I am stuck in my job and my life. I feel trapped in my void where love should be and I don’t know how to fix it. I spend every waking hour dealing with specialists for myself and my kids and my husband won’t even consider any sort of counselling to assist our issues with communication or even his own mental health.

I can’t/won’t leave him. I can’t change careers. I do way too much around the house and my kids are extremely difficult bordering on endangering myself and each other and seem to lack any capability to pitch in at all or treat me with respect.

I am broken, lost and desperate.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Thetiredwife, 

We are really sorry that you are feeling this way and that you are feeling trapped at the moment. We think that you have been incredibly brave by posting your story here and for sharing your experiences with us all. It also sounds like you are in contact with a GP which is a wonderful step to have taken, and we encourage you to check back in with them about how you are feeling right now. 

We also think it would be a wonderful idea for you to give our support line a call on 1300 22 4636. The wonderful people that will talk to you on this phoneline can help you with some great practical ideas and can help you to find other supports if you think that would be useful. 

From what you've said in your post it appears that you are a caring and empathetic person who cares deeply for their family. We are really sorry to hear that this is also a part of how you are feeling right now. 

Please feel free to come back and let us know how you are going if you feel comfrotable doing so. There are also many other great conversations happening across the forums which you might want to have a look into.

Kind regards, 

Sophie M

[Dani70]

Dear the tired wife,

i read your post and it was like reading my story 6 years ago! I was married for 26 years with 3 daughters and I worked full time. One day my ex husband rang me up 6 times on the way home demanding his dinner amongst other things. I was running late after an important meeting at work. It was like I all of a sudden felt strong enough to not go home. My 2 eldest girls had left home because of him and my youngest had just turned 18. I made a choice to leave that day and it was the best decision I ever made!

Yes it was hard especially when he was stalking me for awhile. He begged me to come back but I never did. Separation is difficult for families but life is too short to be disrespected or abused. I have a great relationship with all my children and am now remarried. My husband now has shown me unconditional love and support which I never had experienced in my life.

i am so glad I made the decision to end the marriage, he disrespected me everyday from basically the time I met him. Now I have time to focus on me and my new life😊

I wish you all the very best. You and your children need to be your priority.

Take care,

Daniella.

[Guest_3256]

Hi Thetiredwife.

Please try to not be hard on yourself. It just sounds like you could change how you see yourself.

Please note: this doesn't mean that you throw away everything and ruin your life. Some people lose themselves in their own issues and go do things like cheat on their partner, display a lot of moodiness, anger and blame. We cannot let ourselves become burden's to others or ourselves.

Put a mirror in front of yourself, do some self talk and ask yourself how you can make yourself feel better. No one can do this but you.

I'd try starting your day on the best note, from the moment you wake up, listen to music, sing to your husband or kids, laugh, throw confetti everywhere, be happy and live.

So please - know that you are a beautiful and loving person - you just need to fall in love with yourself!!!

🙂

[Kant]

Thanks for you tips, I agree everyone's situation is different and we've got to handle it individually. I've been 20yrs married no children work full time, but I do feel like the other two posts are feelings similar to me.

I try to keep fighting my negative feelings always hoping things will get better, deep down knowing they are not improving makes me feel like it's a numbing life I live.

How to feel sometimes is a question mark. Like what do I make of all this history? Throw it away on a feeling?