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Hi I have been with my fiancé for nine years we became engaged three years ago and only started living together at the start of last year. I have a son and he has a daughter and we have just had a child together. We have had our moments during our relationship but I love him very much, he suffers from depression and it is slowly taking its toll on me where I don’t feel happy anymore. Our house is falling apart and needs lots of fixing as we are tight on money at the moment but we are getting by. But a major problem in our relationship is making decisions my partner wants to buy his daughter a car for her 21st and we can’t afford it and I don’t think she really deserves it she has never had a job she treats her dad like crap and has one child and is pregnant again. He has decided he is buying her a car he knows I don’t agree because we can’t afford it but his going to do it anyway and it’s making me feel really anxious. I’m not sure if I’m just overreacting I really need some advice thanks for you time.
Hi Shelly19 ☺ welcome to bb
I don't at all think you're over reacting that's a really difficult position you're in.
Btw congratulations on your new bubba 😊
It's lovely him wanting to get her a car for sure and it'd be very hard for you knowing how she treats her Dad and her life style.
I think although I could see more strain on the relationship you have every right to put your foot down if he hasn't already got it.
I wonder does she live with you both.
Financial insecurity is a very high stress and raising children would be huge too. I wonder if you could put it to him as he sounds adament to meet you half way and save slowly for it and point out the high costs esp with a newby on board. Do you think he'd see reason? If not is there anyone else family friends he might listen too.
I feel sorry for you.
Also wondering if he has professional help of any kind and or meds for his depression. Depression and anxiety are both treatable, not overnight but it certainly is a light to look ahead towards.
Do you feel you could benefit as well lovey from some counselling, if you see your GP even it could be arranged that you both together if you felt comfy with that, they also could help guide you in coping and dealing with someone having depression. You have a lot on your plate. Certainly both your lives will be better with help lifting from depression and it'd no doubt decrease your anxiety.
If you're interested theres a thread "Self help tips for anxiety" anyones welcome to join threads and theres some good help same as if you search bar Depression. Theres a similar name if you search depression a few will come up here.
You're always welcome to talk here darl also if you feel you need a voice heres no: is
Take care hun, plenty of deep breathing helps anxiety. There is hope, you both and your family deserve a happy life ☺