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This is my first time on the forums but really needed somewhere to let it out if that makes sense?
I have 2 children and am currently pregnant and my 8yr relationship ended last Friday very messily with there being domestic violence. I spent all day yesterday in court and thought today would be easier but in fact it's been worse! I am having flashbacks of what happened and then remembering all the good times, I went to have a coffee with my mother today and I started to panic and cry and needed to leave the cafe. I went to my gp to ask for a referral to see a counsellor but she refused and said I'd get over it but it feels like it's so intense and it's such an effort to do anything I'm sad all the time. I am so ashamed to admit but I am struggling with feelings of excitement for this pregnancy 😞
Thank you for reading/listening.
Miss DoingItAlone Welcome to forums a safe place to vent. After going through what you have. I feel you would need someone to talk through it. Domestic violence is not acceptable on this planet. You have made the first step it will take time to heal what is happening in your head. So give it time talk to your GP again stress if you have to that your not coping with the memory of the violence, etc. The good times cannot be brought back. I have lost my partner to cancer. Today all I have are the memories, bitter sweet. They cannot return. So I now look to help my two children. When I can I get advice in here. Some times I help others. Soon you will have a little one to protect. Without violence in it's sweet little life. So take care.
Hi MDIA welcome
While it doesnt sound appropriate your GP said "you'll get over it" lets leave that aside, there might be reasons for this. You can always get a second opinion.
Its only been a few days so this grief process takes quite a while especially as you had kids to this man. I look back on the first few months of separation of my first wife, pick up my daughters (7 and 4yo)..."we dont want to lose you"..."we want you to come home dad". Its shattering for us, devastating for them. But thats life, it will hurt you when you least expect it. Time is your healer...
Until time passes expect these sad times to come and go. Its normal. There's no magic wand anywhere.
You can post here as your journey progresses, many do. A word of suggestion, keep busy. With children etc you will anyway. But a jigsaw in your bedroom, even googling an interest (eg my latest interest is the Korean crisis) you emetse your mind away from "what if"...
Take heart that your grief is very normal.
Hi Miss DoingItAlone,
Firstly, please see a different GP, even if you have to go Private. Under no circumstances is it acceptable to be shut down like that. I went to a GP asking for a mental health care plan when I thought I maybe had depression and anxiety and he told me "I was just being a normal teenager." I went to a different Doctor and they wrote me one on the spot. My first session with my Psych found that I had severe depression and anxiety.
A second opinion can be really important and can make all the difference for you. I urge you to seek this.
Now that's out, really glad that you've decided to come here to 'let it all out'. You're so welcome to do so.
It sounds like a really painful, traumatic and difficult time for you - adding a court case and young children (and one to be!) on top of that sounds unimaginable.
I would strongly suggest trying to get a Mental Health Care plan from a GP so that you can see a Counsellor or Psychologist of some sort. They might be able to help you with your flash backs, feelings of panic and no doubt painful past. More than that, they can be a source of strong support during this difficult time for you.
My heart goes out to you so deeply. Please don't feel ashamed of your feelings. From the sounds of it, you're doing an astounding job managing such incredibly difficult circumstances.
Would love to hear back from you to see how you've gone.
All the very best,