Feeling alone

[Lee712]

Hi,

I am a working mum to 3 beautiful kids with a husband that works fifo.
And I feel alone all the time, we have been doing this for 10 years now and I have had enough but my husband doesn’t want to give it up.
I see we’re he’s coming from, that the money is helping set our children up and that they get more time with me because I don’t have to work full time with his wage.
But it’s come at a cost, I’m stressed about making all the decisions for the children and our finances because he finds it hard not being here all the time to keep up, but I feel alone and the all the stress of am I making the right decisions it’s all on me. And the other thing is we no longer have anything in common other then our children, there’s love there but we have become so distance.
How do people find a balance and my Fifo work? We talk all the time but it just replace the the distance between us.

[smallwolf]

hi and welcome to the forums.

sometimes I don;t really know how to start a reply and in this case I will jump right in - there is a fair bit in your post.

But I might start here ...

what were the things in the person that became your husband that attracted you to him?

there are perhaps many couples who also live together where the things is common seem to fade over time. In your situation this is perhaps more obvious due to the distance between you and time you get to spend together. And my thoughts are that things change as we get older - kids, school, sports and our priorities change. With this you wonder whether you are making the right choices.

I would say you are making the right decision based on the information available. For myself, when it came to financial stuff for my (and wife) kids, I left most of those with my wife. Why? Because of my upbringing, personality etc. In short, left to me, it would likely be the wrong decision. And perhaps when it comes to important decision these could be made when he is at home? I don't know how well that would work.

I did a little (read very little) research when I saw your post... I searched for "wife of fifo worker" to see if there were posts I could point you to or similar. What I did find was blogs, face book groups you might want to look at etc. There are stories on the forums as well if you search for "beyond blue wife fifo worker".

the one thing I can do is listen.... so if you want to vent, chat, or whatever else, please post here. It might not help with the distance but at least you can get things of your chest and someone here will reply.