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feeling alone and frightened.(trigger warning)

Community Member

I've had a really tough week and waiting for a psychiatric assessment - I've recently lost another job and at 45 feel quite scared as I don't have family - context being my mother threw me out of home and dissapeared after I tried to tell authorities about her boyfriend's abused, and in 2007 my father cut me off after telling me it was normal for father's to find daughters attractive, and for me ringing DOCS to report his nephew - this action of mine resulted in being cut out and threatned with physical threats. My twin brother has hit me so many times, and also hospitalised other men and women - his own wife had to dissapear with my two neices.

 I've manage to crawl my way back out of boarding houses, abusive relationships but it is hard work. It is a marathon. This week my friend of 15 years who always rang me and who moved to Queensland to be close disclosed some very heavy stuff about her own step daughter who she has been leaning on me to support - but it lead me to only feel a more overwhelming sense of depression and I found myself preparing a will - which is for me is weird as I hate paperwork.

She is my emergency contact so when I told her I was going to admit myself into hospital and to please seek professional help for her stepdaughter she unfriended me. I asked her politely why she had done this and she said to force me to call her.

I explained I was in emergency ward and had no credit - I could communicate via facebook. She then just bombarded me with texts and finally called late at night when I was resting.

 I've had to block her and now realise I am completely on my own. Going to hospital on my own and having to work out who is going to be my emergency contact. It is pretty overwhelming.

1 Reply 1

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

hi mindfulStep

i hope you are getting the help you need from the hospital or did you get to go home. either way i hope you are feeling better. i was abused for a long time as a child and suffer from PTSD amongst other things as well. i have been hospitalised many times and while you dont get much therapy you do walk out. i hope you have a good doctor who can help you through this tough time and posting here can make you feel supported and cared for. please post again so we know how you are