Feel so sad at having no friends at 58.. Lonely

[CosmosMary]

I dont know if anyone else feels like me, but at 58 I find myself so lonely and without social interaction. I suffer anxiety and get nervous if I think about having conversations with anyone knew, or familiar, I so scared that I wont know what to say or do so thus I avoid people which makes me feel worse..I sometimes can't seem the sense in what my purpose is on this earth. I feel faulty misfit to our society. I think I have heaps to give but too scared to. I dont particularly like people as most of them have hidden agendas. I cant read signals in people, good or bad. I even feel estranged from by 2 sons. I try to fit in but i really do feel like a square peg going into a round hole...

[white knight]

Hi CM, welcome

Ive had gaps of time in all past 3 relationships. I hated being alone and I felt more of a misfit eithout a partner. Married couples dont invite singles to dinner etc.

So I got married again 6 years ago...I'm 61.

There is a good chance you will feel much better and have a life durection in a new partner.

My daughter found her husband on the internet. The beauty of that is that if you choose you can communicate by email first.

Otherwise clubs is the only other way and thats scary for you.

Tony WK

[slippery_slope]

Hi Mary,

You're not alone..........................I know how you feel and its a huge deal.

I'm working on it, clawing over huge hurdles. Find out what makes you tick and use it to your advantage. It's taken me 47 years but I think I might be onto something for me. Having said that, I didnt really take really notice of me until 12 months ago. Learn about yourself then learn to trust yourself with what you have learnt.

Purpose is huge.....................once my kids became independent adults some time ago, I realised lost my purpose. i'm now re-discovering purpose..............its a work in progress 🙂 and it can change any time 🙂

I left and isolated myself from so called friendship group and partner due to trust issues and other things. I dont have any family except for my 3 adult kids.

We are all misfits to some degree, some just hide it better than others.

The fact that you've recognized all these feelings you are going through is a huge leap forward, believe me 🙂

You're the only one that can change things for the better and we are hear to hold ya hand through to the other side.

Forget about the round hole!!!!!!!

Find the square hole, girl!!!!!!!!!" 🙂

[Latte_Lady]

You are not alone, Mary.

Look at your hand, count the fingers.... that is probably the typical number of friends a person has. Many people have many acquaintances, or know many people, through work, passions, interests, but are they really and truly friends? Probably not. Unless of course your sole goal in life is to have many friends, in which case you will have very little time for anything else!

I have found fun in a totally unexpected way. By learning a sport. It is only new, however I have 1 more friend than I did before. There is no miracle answer, however you need to put yourself out there, and be open to engaging, because if not, nothing will come of your efforts. Trust me, I know.

The word I use to describe myself socially, is "clunky". Go back 20 years or so ago, and I was in full swing, positive, vivacious, gregarious. Now I am almost a recluse. Trust me, there are people out there waiting to meet you. Go get 'em!!!!

[meercat]

Hi CosmosMary, Latte Lady. Iv just found your posts. Im 64.

Yes, One is the loneliest number..i think that was a song.

Iv found in the past its easier to duck down a hole instead of making new friends. Iv wanted to but its sooo hard in a new area.

I went to dancing lessons on wednesday..line dancing.(it was meant to be ballroom) that got me out of my comfort zone!

Its been so long since i had a special real friend so i made the decision today to seek some coffee mates.

I belong to NABO neighbourhood group (Aus. wide i think), and up popped two people looking for a chat and coffee.

If you wish to join or see what Nabo is about just type Nabo in google and fill out the form. No charge.

Cheers

meercat xx