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Father Unknown

Community Member

I think is more vent thread as I just need to get this out there with out stuffing up my life.

About 5 years about I started an affair with another man - lets call him xx (at the time we where both married). The affair had started when hubby and myself where going though a rough patch. During this time, hubby and I built a new house and decide to try for a baby, during this time I didnt see xx for around 9 months but one day if got the better of me as hubby and I were struggling to conceive and I just wanted a baby. So around October 2015 I saw xx again, the next week I discovered I was finally pregnant. A couple of weeks later I received a picture message off xx phone from his mother- a photo of his wife and son. Around then I did cut all ties but xx did find out that I was pregnant.

Fast forward to end of last year, I caught up with xx again and said that the reason I stopped speaking to him is due to his daughter sending a me a message in which he replied with oh well she (the wife) walked out 12 months ago. But I got the impression when I said "we need to talk" he thought it might be something else and not about the picture

Nothing will be gained from tell xx that he may or may not be that father, the only gain will be a lot of lives wrecked and a lot of anger. I am certain both his children would stop talking to him and that not what I want,

But I keep thinking to myself does he even realize this could be a possibility. It is something I will have to live with forever

1 Reply 1

Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Blahish~

I did read your other post

Forums / Relationship and family issues / Feeling like the outsider

about feeling an outsider with your mother, and here you have another difficulty involving family. Families can be very hard to deal with at times.

Do you mind if I ask a couple of questions just to get thngs straight in my mind?

First off are you still with your hubby and are things ok?

Do you know the child was fathered by xx or are you unsure? Does he suspect?

If xx found out the child was his what do you think will happen, it affects xx and his family, your hubby if you are still with him, and the child itself?

This might sound a little cold-hearted, I'm sure the whole situation does weight heavily on you however could you say why you might want to involve xx at all and this stage and not just let things lie?