Ex or not

[nupk07]

My 9 years of relationships with my partner ended a couple of weeks ago. Reason: Infidelity 

He left me for this new guy over 2 casual hookups. And I still care about him and miss his physical presence. Everything else is fine.

Any suggestions how to get over from the person you loved and shared 9 long years together

side-note: we work in the same office building and still in touch

[white knight]

Hi, welcome 

I'm sorry for this. Grief of a terminated relationship in my experience is unavoidable so, there leave a situation where you need to cushion it as much as you can.

Following my 1st marriage separation, the first 8 weeks was harrowing, then I bought land followed by a kit home. It was a major distraction and I was so busy my mind fell less into "what could have been" and more "what I can make of it". Included in distraction is variety and radicalisation. To avoid continuity of grief in your case you might have to act like, changing jobs or departments. 

Time is your friend but time takes its time. Acceptance in the meantime can be beneficial.  To accept you deserve better is a start followed by seeking better.

I wish you well.

TonyWK

[geoff]

Hello nupk07, sometimes love for a person can still remain no matter what happens, but when this person plays up behind your back, then they can only become a friend, simply because their infidelity may still continue with the next person they meet.

I'm sorry that you are missing him, but to be with someone for the rest of your life, you need to trust them in all areas possible, but you can still be in contact with him as a person to have fun with but know what he's capable of doing.

Geoff.

Life Member.