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empty nest and feeling lonely

katwil
Community Member

Is there anyone out there experiencing Empty Nest Syndrome?

I feeling incredibly lonely.

Our son moved out in Feb to go to Uni. We initiate all contact.

Our daughter is getting married in July. We used to be very close. She called me her best friend. Now i am forgotten. It hurts alot. I dont handle rejection very well.

So, im now having to come to terms with this life and im not sure how to do it. I just feel passed over and lonely.

I went and saw Zootopia by myself. That was miserable.

8 Replies 8

pipsy
Community Member

Hi katwil. Welcome here. It never seems to get any easier does it, kissing the 'babies' goodbye. Even if they only move two doors/streets away, watching them go is so hard. I think you'll find your daughter's going to need her mum more as her wedding approaches. It'll be mum, can you do this/that etc. Your son will still need mum to 'be there' when he returns home for flying visits. I know my daughter, now married with her own kids, still calls on mum to help out baby sitting etc. I'm not sure if you have a hubby, no mention. Perhaps, if you do, you should take advantage of your new found freedom and go away somewhere, just the two of you. If you're on your own, would you consider getting a pet. Cats can be extremely cuddly, dogs need loving homes and you could take it for walks. You haven't been 'rejected', your kids are now in the next phase of their life, you will still be able to share their triumphs, disappointments etc. The only difference is, instead of them living with you permanently, they may decide to stay o/night occasionally. Then when daughter's married and has her kids, guess where the g'kids will be wanting to visit. Is your daughter still at home, if she is, maybe arrange a 'girls day out', if she isn't, give her a call, arrange to get together. You should also look at getting a hobby, joining a social club, maybe consider volunteer work. I do volunteer work and love it. I'm out two or three days a week, I don't have enough hours in the day.

Lynda.

firsttimemum
Community Member

Hi Katwil,

you poor thing! I feel terrible for you that you are lonely.

my son is just 4 months old and I already am dreading the time when he moves out!

i remember when me and my siblings left my parents home my mum was upset to begin with but over time she grew to love the freedom. My brother and sister in law have recently had to move back in with my parents while their house is being built (mum was not overly thrilled about the idea haha)

basically what im trying to say is that over time, living without the kids at home will become your new normal.

😊

scn
Community Member
Hi Katwil, I've just started on the forum, so I'm aware that this reply is probably too late. I too am an empty nester and not coping with it at all. Hope you are feeling better and things have improved for you.

SisterKiKi
Community Member

I know this post is 6 yrs old but thought someone might read this. Kat has it gotten easier? I am going through this at the moment. My eldest moved out early years ago & we get on really well. Then No.2 had a townhouse built & moved in a few weeks ago. Then! in the same week my youngest decided to go FIFO (Fly In Fly Out) so he works 10 days on then 4 days off where he'll fly home. Even though my son will be home every 10 days, empty nest syndrome has hit me like a ton of bricks. I am very emotional & can't stop crying. Then when my husband gets grumpy at me he doesn't talk so I'll just have the dog for company.

I don't know how to get past this 😞

Hey SisterKiki, 

Thanks for sharing this here. We're sorry to hear you're struggling with empty nest syndrome. Please know that our lovely Support Service team are here if you ever want to talk it through. They can also help you to figure out if a bit more support would be helpful, and can make referrals for you to get more follow up. 

As you've mentioned, this post was started a couple of years ago, so if you'd like to start a thread of your own so that more of the community can spot it, feel free. There's some tips on how to do so here: The Forums FAQ Thread - Starting a new thread

Thanks again for sharing what's going on for you here, SisterKiki. 

Kind regards, 

Sophie M

Banksy92
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi katwil,

This sounds like a really hard adjustment, it's understandable if you're feeling alone or unsure what to do with yourself.

Have you got any pets, or are you open to getting one? They can be such nice company and a nice new focus when people move of from the family home. My parents did this years ago when I left and they are now besotted with their fluffy pooch. It's created a whole lifestyle for them. Just an idea for you.

geoff
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hello SisterKiki, well done for finding this post as it is 6 years old, however, with your dog there are weekly walks for lonely people who have a dog, who meet in the local garden and take a walk with everyone else that wants to participate, your local council may have details for this.

Perhaps your family may be planning on having a family, then I'm sure you will be called on to help out, babysitting, daycare or helping around the house.

In the meantime try and plan other activities you wanted to do, but have been unable to for various reasons.

Geoff.

Beeee
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello SisterKiKi,

It's understandable why your emotions have hit you so hard. With your two youngest moving out in the same week, it's a lot to process.

Geoff has given some great advice above, do the things you've always wanted to do, but never got around to doing. Or find new hobbies and things to do, for example, growing a vegetable garden, learning to knit, maybe renovating/repainting your home. You might even take up a class to learn a new skill such as pottery, cooking, painting. You could meet others through such activities who are also looking for friends.

You could even plan family time, like a regular Sunday lunch, so you get a chance to see your children every week.

Hope this helps and we're always here on the forums if you need someone to talk to!

Beeee