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Emotional week..

Community Member

Living with myself must be a challenge some days...

The last couple of weeks have been 'interesting'. Our dog had a superficial skin injury that required her to go under general anaesthetic to have stitches done. In the same week my partner sprains/strains his ankle after falling off the back of his work truck. Emotionally nerve-wracking.

When it came to the end of the work week, I sat down with my partner and said that I just want to cry (regarding the events from the past week). His response was that he didn't want anyone to feel sorry for him and that he didn't want any emotional support.

This caught me offguard initially, until I realised that it may have been his ego 'talking'. Nevertheless, it hurt that my empathy and consoling wasn't wanted/needed by him.

The week following his emotional comment, I was quiet, he didn't talk much and it took everything in my willpower to stop myself from showing any emotion -I didn't know what to do until....I read a friends facebook post that it's 'ok' to 'feel and care' about someone/something.

After reading that I went to my partner and said 'you can tell me to not care, but it doesn't work'.

Up until that point he would sleep away from me, said that I could go (on my own) to visit my family in Brisbane and that he didn't have to go. Thought he was trying to get rid of me...that he didn't want to be with me anymore. I was wrong....communication is important so that one's mindset doesn't run away with them.

1 Reply 1

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Rip Curl,

The past couple of weeks sounds very stressful for you, with emotions running high...

I think it can really hurt when a loved one rejects our empathy. I agree with your friend that it’s okay to “feel and care.” I feel you’re allowed your emotions...I think giving a space for your feelings (both good and bad) can be one of the kindest acts of self care...

It must have felt so emotionally stifling when your partner tried to, not just control his own emotions, but tried to stop you from showing yours too...I think that says more about his own level of discomfort when it comes to certain feeling than it does about you though...

I’m glad you had a chat with your partner, and unless I’m misunderstood, it sounds like it has helped clear the air a little, and that you’re both now more on the same page. I agree with you about the importance of communication...

There’s no pressure, but if you’re feeling up to it, it would be lovely to hear from you again to let us know how things are going....

Kind and caring thoughts,