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Dont know whats going on.

Community Member

I've been with my fiancée now for 5years and we have 2 children together 2yo and 3yo. We both work full time with kids in daycare.

We have had a major change in our life's recently with me stating a new job that requires me to be away from home during the week and only home on the weekend.

I know she is looking after the kids during the week almost alone but she has her mother who lives behind us who helps out. I also dont ask her to lift a finger if she dosent want to during the week, as on the weekends ill cook clean do washing ect. So she can relax.

When Im away I work long ours in the cold rain breaking my back, so naturally as soon as I get back to the motel I just want to have a shower food and a beer then bed.

How ever I am allways in trouble for not calling and speaking to her long enough or I am being accused of cheating and on dating websites.

Last night when I got home I was like a zombie half asleep so on my way home I had ordered her favorite take away to be delivered. I got home and was basicly given the cold sholder.

This moring was ok I had goten up about 30mins after she had and got to work on house work. I than asked her if she wanted to go out for tea to that she said no. It took some convincing to get her to come but she finally said yes but aslong as she didnt have to get to dressed up. I said thats fine and then started to look up restaurants and organised her mum to watch the kids.

The kids went to bed and she went to have a laydown aswell. I went and sat in bed with her and was given the cold sholder yet again and accused of cheating again.

We have never had a perfect relationship but it just seams that the gap between arguments are just closing in.

I dont know whats going on or how to fix it. I know I am not a perfect fiancée or father but I know im not the worst. And now she has seen me writing this she has asked me if im looking for a room to rent.

2 Replies 2

Community Member

Hey Ken, welcome to the forum.

why is your fiancé accusing you of cheating?

Hi Ken,

Have you tried asking her why she is feeling this way? It sounds like she has insecurities, do you know if she has been hurt in the past or what might be causing that?

I know you feel she's got enough support with her Mum close by but have you asked her how she finds it during the week? I know when my hubby used to travel away for work that I would find it a challenge on my own especially when I was working too. However I didn't have my Mum close by. I just wondered if you asked her how she was feeling.

Aside from talking with her to try and work through where these insecurities are coming from I would suggest reevaluating your work. I assume you changed jobs for financial reasons. Is it worth it when it means being away from your family and is causing stress in your relationship? Was your wife onboard with the change? If so, what changed to make her feel like this?

Lots of questions sorry but I hope it helps you think of how to work through this with her.

Kind thoughts,