Dear Donnatello~
Welcome here to the Forum, it must have taken a fair amount of courage to tell your story, I thank you will find we understand.
I'm sorry you marriage is not what it should be, an angry and abusive partner is very hard to live with and I would think the desire to seek a more loving and gentler person very understandable.
Sadly the modern world allows what seems like close contact with others, however it most often can be an illusion.
Seeing someone on a screen allows the mind to fill in the blanks, and one ends up with an unrealistic, possibly fantasy idea of the other. Similarly having a week long fling with another when married is very different to being unattached, as you overseas man has found out.
The same applies to letters.
I am guessing but I'd suspect that when faced with the prospect of a real person, and no safety net of a wife it go back to, your overseas friend suddenly found life had been a fantasy, and the real version not waht he expected.
This is not to say you were at fault, just circumstances.
His subsequent letters after your return probably only represent guilt at having led you on for so long.
It is understandable that you would find the whole thing depressing and have a lack of trust for people in the future, may I ask why you feel guilty?
Croix
