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My mother and father are the only family I have left, and they are so unsupportive of the fact that I choose to be in an age-gap relationship, which is likely to happen. What disgusts me about my mother in particular, is that she supports two people of the same sex to get married, yet she wont support two heterosexual people who are in love with each other, to get into a relationship. That's not to say I don't support gay marriage, because I do. My mother discovered today that I have a picture of the man I desire on my phone and she automatically assumed that I have not been "getting over" him. I used to stalk him, but I don't anymore, and my mother has automatically assumed that I am stalking him again, when I actually haven't done that in a year. She genuinely believes that I am not getting better, and that is most certainly true, and the reason being is because I AM STILL LIVING IN THIS HOUSE WITH THESE TWO IDIOTS WHO SIMPLY WILL NOT GROW UP AND LISTEN TO OTHER PEOPLE'S PERSPECTIVES.
There's more that I could write.
Hello Nib, whether or not your parents disagree with whom you want to have a relationship with, is sometimes no concern of theirs, although this varies on different occasions and their reasons may or may not be genuine, but when they accept two people of the same sex getting married, then they maybe should be more open, and I'm certainly not against the same sex marrying, but their logic doesn't make sense.
Are you able to move out because their attitude is going to affect how you are feeling in many different ways and that's a problem, so please continue to write on.
Thank you so much for your post. I'd like to start off by saying that who you choose to love is up to you, and that's for only you to dictate. I would also hope that you and your to-be significant other are over the age of 18, otherwise if you are under 18 and your to-be partner is over 18, this could have legal and personal safety implications, so I would advise against getting yourself into that situation. If the latter is the case, this may be a primary cause of your parents' worry. If not, and you are both consenting adults, then read on.
I would have a chat to your parents about their concerns; I would try to understand and listen to their views, as well as trying to express your own. I know how frustrating it can be to try and explain something to parents with traditional views who refuse to take anybody else's perspective, particularly if they grew up in an era where discrimination was commonplace and mostly accepted. The world as it currently stands is getting more accepting of different types of relationships, as long as they're between two (or sometimes more) willingly consenting adults.
If you've talked to your parents and they're still not understanding your perspective - provided you have the ability, financial stability, and will to move out or distance yourself from them - I would consider moving out. But at the end of the day, it's up to you how you respond and the level of intolerance you're happy to accept from them. Consider the following questions:
How important is their approval in your new relationship? Is their lack of support a deal-breaker for you? Does this mean putting an end to your to-be relationship, or distancing yourself from your parents? Do you think their opinion would change if they met your to-be partner?
I wish you the very best with this situation. Please feel free to talk more if you'd like to!
Kind regards, SB
This sounds challenging. Is there a way you could move out? Even with your partner?
I don't think your parents should have a say in who you have a relationship with - that is only up to you and your partner.
It's easier said than done say ignore them, but if I was you I would consider moving out, if that is possible given COVID and your current situation.
Hello Nib, are you able to move in with them?
Hello Nib, that's good, but in the meantime can you stay with other people until this happens.
Apologies for the late reply, I will be living at home in the meantime.