didnt derserve me so I left, now its a mental game...

[sheisher]

Its been 8 months since I left him a boyfriend of 6 years that put me through a lot, cheating, lies, verbal abuse...

 I cant seem to shake off the scares he left, and each day I go in deeper and deeper into anger and sadness.

At first it was ok when I walked away, I was happy that I was able to make a such a good decision, why now 8 months down the track am I feeling like this?

 Who do I go and talk to? Is this even worth talking about and how do I shake it off?

 Ive always been the type to sweep things under the rug, but I guess this one has caught up with me.

[pipsy]

Hi sheisher.  It's only been 8 months and you were together 6 years.  Obviously you thought 'this is the one'.  Sounds as though he's a bit narcissistic.    When you give your heart, it's usually forever.  It's always sad when a relationship ends regardless whether married or not.  You chose to end it because of behaviour problems.  It's not your fault, you gave your 'all' to the relationship, he abused the trust.  What you have to do now is realise he won't change, even if he does, it wouldn't be lasting, unless he wants to.  I think you're probably still feeling a bit shell shocked (perfectly natural).  You're still in 'mourning', give yourself time to adjust to a new lifestyle.  Your scars will heal, like any wound, it takes time.  You're probably feeling maybe you should take him back, this too is normal.  Rather than be 'alone', the 'abused wife' will take back the abusive husband when he promises never to hurt her again.  It's a familiar pattern, but you will get through it.  Do you have friends you can talk to?  What about family?  You can always 'vent' here.  BB has some excellent 'listeners' for that purpose.  Know in your heart, you have made the right choice, for you.