Depression and divorce

[Pysis]

• Hi I've been on these forums before when I was 18 I'm now 23 years old I've been married and have a 1 year old son. I work in disability and recently I let it get to me and Ive had a mental break down. My main client I work with is very violent at time and cab be difficult to cope with my wife hasn't understood and when I've tried to talk to her she makes me feel like I'm a monster for "alloweing" my client to get to the point where she losses control, I have no control over my clients actions as much as I try and help her she has had a very nasty past and as a result she lashes out. Recently I haven't felt connected to my wife at all and feel like nothing I do is good enough a few months ago she threatened to take my son and leave unless I moved to where her mother lives 12 hours away we went through the qhile loan process and couldnt afford it though about 3 days ago I asked for a break for a couple days to clear my head she lost it and kicked me out and became very nasty, I stayed at my friends for a night and a day before I headed home because she was begging me to, when I got home it felt like a personal attack she told me everything o was doing wrong but wouldn't recognise that she had faults as well. The next day she told me her list of things she needed me to do for her to stay with me one of these was to not talk to one of my best friends who is female and she is threatened by and not to talk about what was going on with any of my friends, I ended up having a panic attack and said I didn't think I could do that she lost it and told me to get out and that she would file for divorce the next day. I ended up going to work but about an hour into my shift it all became to much and I had to ask my boss to find someone to cover me he wasn't happy with me at all. My wife started to become quite nasty and has hacked my Snapchats and has been printing out any messages I send to my friends weather it's about her or not. She has said I will amount to nothing and I will never find another person to share my life with, she thinks I'm incredibly selfish and that I won't be able to survive by myself. I just feel so broken at the moment I feel like o can't talk to my friends because I don't know what she has and hasn't hacked and I feel like an absolute failure  I miss my son and I don't know how to be a person with out her any more I've changed a lot of who I am and what I do to make her happy and I think I've forgotten who I am. 

[Sophie_M]

Hey Pysis,

We’re sorry to hear what you’ve been going through. It sounds like it’s had some very serious impacts on your life, family, relationship and work. We’re glad you could share this here, as our lovely community will have kindness, advice and understanding for you.

It sounds like you could do with talking things through, so please don’t hesitate to give the lovely Beyond Blue counsellors a call on 1300 22 4636 or speak to them on webchat here. You could also speak to  Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277.

We also wanted to check in about the violence you mentioned from your client. Work-related violence involves incidents in which a person is abused, threatened or assaulted in circumstances relating to their work. As an employee, you have a right to feel safe at work. Learn more about your rights, responsibilities and find support services. We’d really recommend having a look at WorkSafe Vic’s information on this topic, here: worksafe.vic.gov.au/itsneverok

For Australia-wide guidance on how this might apply to your workplace, check out SafeWork Australia’s guidance, here: safeworkaustralia.gov.au

Thanks again for sharing here. We’re sure you’ll hear from some other community members once they spot your thread. We appreciate your kindness and openness in sharing to the forums, and we hope you can be kind to yourself, too while you’re going through this extremely difficult time.

Kind regards,

Sophie M

[Pysis]

Hi Sophie thanks you for replying to me. Yes it feels like my life is falling apart at the moment. 

At the moment I'm starting the process to see a therapist and to get help to work through this. My wife's turned quite nasty again which I never thought she would do but anyway. 

Yeah it's pretty extream violence at work I won't go into specifics unless asked as it may be triggering for some people but I'm work on a weekly basis by the client, she is beautiful and sweet when she wants to be but can change at a pin drop. 

Thank you hopefully I will soon last time this community really helped.