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Depressed due to a relationship break up
Hi Coadie, welcome
I can help you. I'm 62yo and had many breakups with girls, women.
You are mature and write well. Age is irrelevant.
Firstly my closest female friend if 7 years is my wife. She has depression, I have depression and bipolar. If anything we compliment our relationship by both being unwell. In a common relationship where one is well it isnt so easy. When my wife is depressed I know what its like and visa versa. Maybe you could let her read this?
A few important things
- Never take mefications not prescribed to you. Meds take up to 8 weeks to work so you taking your dads AD's can harm you...seriously harm you.
- Try to "connect"with this girl in a way other guys cant. Find ways to comfort her if she is depressed. Try to maintain a friendship but be careful not to smother her. If she wants to pursue a relationship she will...in time. Your best chance is to remain friends. If she knows you understand she might reconsider.
- Breaking up brings grief. That is something that is always painful. Expect to not attend school until you recover.
- Always assume there could be other reasons she broke up. It isnt easy to say the honest reason sometimes.
- Try not to become obsessed by her. There are other girls and you can find attraction in some. Love is tough but it must be two way to be the strongest.
- There is no reason not to be straight with you mum. She will understand.
- You can continue to post here
Topic: the best praise you'll ever get- beyondblue
Topic: relationship split- beyondblue
Welcome to this forum.
Tony has given some helpful suggestions.
ou sound like a very sensitive and caring young man.
Your girlfriend sounds like someone who cared about yiu as she did want to see you hurt.
You write so well with compassion and intelligence.
I can sense your pain and frustration.
I just want to
I really feel for you and what you must be going through at this moment. I don’t think there’s anything quite like the pain of heartbreak, sick in the stomach, emptiness in the chest, can’t eat, can’t sleep. I wish I could say it gets better, but every time you get your heart broken it hurts just the same. And each time you swear that you’ll never feel this way about another person, but you do, and each time it takes you by surprise. I think that’s why having your heart broken the first time feels the worst, you don’t have that reassurance yet that it’ll pass. That being said, if you love this girl, and she’s right in front of you, then you owe it to yourself to pursue it. White Knight has given you some useful tips, you need to create enough distance to be “missed” while also showing her that you’re there for her. Don’t overcrowd her at this moment even though you want to, but just make your encounters positive and supportive. Try and be understanding of her and listen to her needs. I wish you all the best xx
Sometimes things happen that aren't anyones "fault" so no apology can fix it. In any relationship the other person is unique, there is only one of those people so there are no hard and fast rules as to what to do and what not to do. This is why its best to remain friends and see how it might develop. You cant rush these things.
Your high level of care could have been a factor. That girl might have felt smothered or pressured. Love is a slowly developing thing not a jump in type of thing. some people take time to love and care others like yourself feel its a quick thing. So I'm not suggesting you change because you are how you are, just next time have short breaks of a day here and a day there and in those days mix with other friends and allow her to do the same.
This fast level of action/reaction/response etc possibly is an anxiety disorder. I know because its how I was to when I was your age. So if you want to pursue that and see a GP by all means, cant be harmful to have a chat.
Remember, we all expect other to respond at the same speed as ourselves. To fall in love at the same pace. We don't really know how another person is thinking until we get to know them personally for a long time.