Depressed adult child refusing help

[Clarabella]

I am so worried about my young adult son who is living at home with us.  He has no friends and no social life beyond the immediate family.  He has a job but he seems to be very unhappy there.  He works from home a lot and spends almost all time at home in his room with the door closed.  He is very resistant to talking about how he is going, tending to answer in monosyllables or to say he doesn’t want to talk about it. This is a pattern of behaviour that developed over his time at uni and he has resisted all attempts at suggesting he seek help, join a social group etc.  He sees life as completely bleak and that nothing will change. I feel I have exhausted all ideas about how to help him - I’ve tried suggesting he talk to the GP, counsellor, support lines, work Employee Assistance Programs, use online programs etc.  I have made countless suggestions about social ideas he could try.  I have been trying to back off because clearly I am not helping and leave him to make his own decisions but I am just watching him get paler and unhappier.  I am finding this very hard to live with.  Grateful for any thoughts about how I can cope with this situation.

[Karen0901]

Sounds like he is in a rut. As a teenager I had similar issues. Got myself into a downward spiral. I needed to be pushed out of my comfort zone. 

It's hard for you to do that since he is an adult but you may have to be the bad guy to be the person he needs. 

Start light though. Maybe suggest new jobs or education he could do. Ask him to do things around the house to get him out of his room. Look at apartments for him. I'm not saying you need to kick him out, but get him thinking about his future. What he wants and where he will end up. He is likely hiding from the difficulties of being an adult. Trying to stay where he was as a teenager. He needs a little poking. For his own long term benefit.  

You might also talk to the GP yourself. Ask what medication and mental health options are available and give him the information. When you are depressed it can be hard to be motivated to get help. Everything is hard when you are depressed.