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Depressed about feelings towards husband
Welcom here to the forum, it's a pretty good idea to seek other's views.That way you know you are not alone, and may gain other perspectives.
From personal experience I can say that depression has at times completely skewed my thinking, leaving me convinced that matters are the very worst possible and insoluble too. As someone who has suffered from depression for 25 years I'm sure I'm not saying anything you did not know already.
Now you seem to be saying two things at once about your husband, that you love him and could not imagine living without him, but at the same time have feelings you don't like about him - and are not happy with his looks either.
As Jessicatherese94 says marriages are complex things, and it is quite possible to have both positive and negative thoughts about a partner at the same time, in fact I'd guess this happens more often than not.
Would you like to say what is troubling you about him?
You mentioned that your depression is increasing at the moment. Have you spoken to your doctor about this? It may be your meds are less effective or need adjusting.
Can you think of anything in your life at the moment that is putting extra pressure on you, perhaps resulting in the depression getting worse?
I'm glad you came back and said more. It would not surprise me if your husband was at least not partly right. One of the things in life that is incredibly hard is to see a shell that was a loved mother or father. To see the outside and find the one you loved is not there in the same way as before, but diminished.
Sadly 74 is a bit young, but unfortunately it seems to happen without rhyme or reason. Is she taking to being in the home OK?
Medication seems to me to have a fair degree of trial and error in it. I've been on umpteen sorts over the years and it took a very long time to get to the stable regime I have today. This is not helped by sometimes quite long lead times before the effects become known. Did your psychiatrist give you any idea of how long or what to expect?
I'm glad you husband looks good to you at least sometimes, depression sure has a lot to answer for.
The idea is that we want you to feel better and many people worry about what
I take the max dose which is for depression as well as for OCD and will need to start another AD if required, but I'm a person who gets ill taking any new tablet, and I know of what happens when someone has to dry out before starting a new AD.
I am pleased your psychiatrist has also suggested OCD and would be pleased to hear back from you. Geoff.