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Dealing with double betrayal husbands affair
Hi Sadkitty welcome
What your husband is suggesting-ignoring her presence nearby, at the local, shops etc and the fact she still works with him...might be easy to say but for some, not easy to do.
If I was in your situation I would expect him to reject any advance from her (outside work), even conversation. A hello would be ok. Going further I'd want to move out of town.
A two year affair is a long time. While it is your decision to work on your marriage, many wouldnt as that scar never heals. I would always wonder if I was away (eg hospital) if something would happen.
I think to expect nothing less than total commitment is the least to ask for.
I hope that helps. I understand your frustration
I can understand how betrayed you feel and then after working so hard on your relationship and feelings, and your personal trauma, your find the other woman popping up at your local pub and giving you advice.
That is a lot for you to cope with.
I agree with Tony you should expect total commitment from your husband and support for you and acknowledgement of the effect of the presence of this woman would have on you.
You may not have control as to where she lives and what she says and does, but you can both decide to only say hello and then ignore her.
Are you and your husband still seeing a counsellor together?
I think it is reasonable you would be very upset by what was said to you.
Feel free to post here when you want to.
i can relate to what your saying as my partner had an affair with my best friend for over 2 years ! Although she says it was a lot longer ! And like you we are giving it another shot, Iv come to the conclusion I love him too much to let go and we have a pretty good life together but the doubt is always with me , I find it very hard to trust now. I'm happy to hear you talk about it , if you can keep talking you have a chance of making it work . I wish you all the best .