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Dating a man that seems to suffer from depression and is distant
i have been dating a man for a few months and though a little aloof had a great connection and were texting at least every 2 to 3 days and going out once or twice a week. After a couple of work trips overseas and a prolonged flue or cold and a few issues at work he just changed. He started not wanting to spend time because he was not coping with all the issues that were happening especially the stress and his health. We have been seen less and less of each other and the texts were becoming less frequent. No future plans have taken place, anyways we had a special event that happened and he come and did it but was exhausted and left soon after it. He does not feel like kissing or spending time with anyone- me , his friends or family. I have been supportive but really only send photos and say hi, he texts back but seems distant. I have asked if he was avoiding me - he responded no- just not in a good place . He supposed to come to my birthday but may not make it because of a meeting, he said we could have coffee the following day if he can't make it.
My question- is he just suffering from depression or trying to just move away but due to not wanting a conflict due to his depression?
Hi Horus, welcome
We are not in a position to diagnose. Try to encourage him to visit His GP.
Thank you for reaching out to us:) I can see how you might feel upset and confused and not know what is going on or if you are getting mixed signals. It is a very difficult situation because you don't know where you stand and you don't want to push him away but you need to know if he is still interested. I think the fact that he seems to have been distant with other people as well might indicate that he does have his own issues. However, it really doesn't take much to show you care even by text. If it were me and I am not an expert on relationships, I would just get on with my own life and see what happens, you could send the odd text to stay connected and see what he has to say but I wouldn't be waiting around. Alternatively or as well as you could say we need to talk and explain how you feel? Either way, it is best to know as you were enjoying the relationship and suddenly something shifted. You don't want to read the situation wrong so you could ask him ? You don't want to block off to other opportunities either if he is not giving anything back ( selfish me lol) Please keep in touch, call us or email us. You are not alone and take care of yourself don't let this get the better of you where possible. Even if he does have depression he can still tell you that he cares. Sorry Horus I am getting tough with age;) Best Wishes Nikkr x
Thank you for your response. You are right about showing a little bit of care. Clearly he is distant and showing no interest. Even unwell he could just text a sentence. Best not invest anymore time and effort.
i have. Even said he is not in a good place maybe taking antidepressants may help as I have other friends who suffer depression. He said he knows where to go if he needs help
Thanks for your reply, maybe I am wrong only you will know but one thing I have learn't is actions speak louder than words and omg I have heard lots of words with no action. Just take care of yourself, get some support even professional and then make a rational choice about him. It could well be that he is depressed and medication or no medication is affecting him but at the end of the day, he needs to address that it can't be an excuse or otherwise you will be sitting in the same space in 5 or 10 years time. Keep in touch if you can and let us know if there is anything we can do: ) Best wishes Nikkir x
I have realised that maybe in his awkward way he was distancing himself to try and tell me that he was not wanting to be with me. You are right. Actions speak louder than words- so after 3 days of no contact I am pretty sure he just wants to fade away and I am better off acting the same. Thank you for your help and yes I have good friends to support me 😊