Controlling Parents into adulthood
Hello. I am 33 and have come to stay with my family for a few months for the holidays. I have had a huge fight with parents and not sure how to come back from it.
I feel like they treat me as a child. In my teens they were very strict and invaded my privacy by reading diaries and phones. This continued into my 20’s and I recall my mother reading some text messages I had sent to a boyfriend when I was 27 and confronting me about them.
Now anytime they tell me to do something I snap because I feel like I am being told off or controlled. Hence our huge argument.
I went to stay at a hotel and my father sent me an emailing guilt tripping me saying I had broken their hearts when all I needed was some space to myself - because well I am an adult!
My brother has a totally different relationship with my parents , he was a nerd and never up to any normal teenage mischief and had his own kids early on granting him a different level of respect .
What should I do? How do I play nice? It’s sad as I only have a short time left before going back home overseas and my parents are getting old now.
Thank you to everyone for your response you’re very kind.
Do you think I should explain to them why I react? I’m sure they don’t even realise they have been controlling in the past and this is why I am this way.
I know that they mean well…
Or would it be best to have a big glass of wine and try ignore the issues and fake a smile for the rest of my stay.