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confused teen

distraught
Community Member
My 18yr old cousin is in love with me. We're not blood related as my mother married his uncle but I still see it as incest. For a year he has been completely loyal to me, as in he keeps turning down dates, letting me know where he is etc etc while I've been encouraging him to date as well as trying to get him to seek help for his feelings towards me. Hes clearly confused his love for me to thinking hes in love with me. My problem is, I recently broke up with my partner and Im starting to develop feelings. Ive been keeping my distance but its making it difficult to be there for him. Over the years we had become best friends that are always there for each other. I want to still be there but still keep my distance which is confusing and frustrating me
3 Replies 3

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Distraught~

Welcome to the Forum and thank you for posting. Relationships can be confusing at the best of times.

To get a couple of things out of the way I understand within Australia first cousins can get married, and no incest is involved.

I saw you write 'he thinks he loves me', well perhaps he does. He's certainly had you on his mind for a while.

I think if I was in your position I'd be asking myself two questions:

Firstly about my feelings for this person - leaving the fact he is a cousin out of it for the moment. You say you are best friends, and it is not that big a step to love, with feelings already developing.

The other thing to ask yourself is if the cousin issue is something you would get used to or if it is something that will always be a complete barrier.

It's very hard to know your heart and my questions are logical ones -not the best thing when emotions are involved.

To conclude I'd like to say what I think is involved in a relationship. Two people who love each other, feel secure with their partner, and know they are looked after. Who want to give security to and look after their partner and really enjoy being with them.

Please talk here as often a you would like

Croix

distraught
Community Member
I love him. I really do and im scared i might be falling in love with him. I cant get pass the fact that hes my cousin and I know our family wont get pass it either. I just cant stop thinking of him and keep myself busy but as soon as I stop moving ye pops up in my head so i have this urge to txt and ring him for no reason at all and im trying really hard to not have so much contact with him

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Distraught~

Trying to keep away from someone you love is just about impossible, at least for me. I've been in love twice and stuck to the person in question like glue -they did not seem to mind. In fact I had 20+ years marriage with each 🙂

So I've no advice, though it does sound to me like the word 'cousin' is the stumbling block.

All I can do is wish you the wisdom you need - plus luck

Croix