Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Confused if I would leave or not

Community Member

Iv been with my partner for 3 years we have a dog and a house together.
lately I just don’t feel happy with him he works in the agriculture industry and we had a very long harvest 11 weeks plus the lead up.

we finally went away for a bit of a holiday and all we did was fight.
i feel very forgotten by him and I wanted to be spoilt for once I do so much for him and I just wanted to to feel like a priority for once.

iv been wanting to get married and I know he has a ring but he won’t give it to me- every time he tells me there to much going on - like his cousin got engaged a month ago and a few issues in the community

I’m really struggling I have ptsd, anxiety and depression. Iv just had surgery aswell so I don’t know if it’s the anesthesia that has affected my moods.

im over fighting. We are fighting over everything what we want have changed so much.

I’m lost do I leave or stay. We live in a remote town and if I move out I won’t be able to work.

3 Replies 3

Community Champion
Community Champion

Hey Ccccccc,

Thank you for your honesty in your post, and a warm welcome to our forums. I'm sorry to hear about your situation.

From my experience, communication is always so important in a relationship, especially if you're going through rough patches. Have you tried having a chat to your partner about your feelings? It may be worth having a talk about your recent fights and where you both see the relationship going in future, if you haven't already.

It's normal for people to argue in relationships, but excessive arguing may be a sign of something like incompatibility.

Having a talk to a therapist, counsellor, psychologist or even your GP could be helpful for your mental health. They may be able to offer you some professional advice, and it can be so beneficial to talk to someone external about your struggles.

Please feel free to chat more with us, we'd love to hear more from you.

All the best, SB

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello Ccccccc, I hope your operation went well and people differ from recovering from an anesthesia, some have no trouble, while others struggle, however, what you have told us must be disappointing for you.

The thought of getting married can only temporarily make the two of you happy, but this may not continue long term if you are unhappy and it's not any solution to produce a good relationship.

Someone who works in the agriculture industry may not necessarily like going on holidays, simply because they want to be with their crop all the time in case something goes wrong, that could be a reason why you argued so much.

If you decide to leave he will have to pay you out, an alternative is to get a mediator, which may be done online so as to sort out the problems or to finalise a settlement for splitting up.

I wonder whether you are receiving any government payments and may have a right to obtaining a DSP (disability support pension).

I can't tell you what to do, but I can suggest that if the two of you don't get along at all, then a decision needs to be made.

Reply back any time you want to.


Community Champion
Community Champion

hello and welcome.

it natural to want to spend some time with your partner and be spoilt - especially after what sounds like it was a long season and I guess you both busy all day and every day?

I don't know much about working on the land. My uncle worked on the land. And it was like he was also married to the land as well. He did go on holidays but this was to wind down rather than doing anything special. To recharge the batteries so to speak.

Is your partner like that?

I would ask... how would the relationship be if there was much less fighting and you were spoilt a little? How would you feel about marriage then?

There are also ways of communicating with your partner. There is no wrong decision about what to do. You have to do what feels right for you at the time.

If there are parts of things you want me to elaborate on, please let me know.

It can be really tough when everything seems to end in an argument and you don't feel appreciated. 😞