Confused, heartbroken and needing advice

[bree00]

Hi everyone,

I am currently in a committed relationship with a guy I met online. We have been dating exclusively for 7-8 months. We have a very good relationship built on mutual trust

Recently a good friend of mine informed me that she had seen a profile with my boyfriends name and photos on a dating site. I immediately thought that there was a very logical explanation for this and there was nothing to worry about. I still believe that to be true. However, lately I have found myself thinking about what my friend told me and it makes me feel so upset and sick even though I trust him and don’t believe he would ever ‘cheat’ on me. When I first heard from my friend I was overseas and had no way of contacting my boyfriend for nearly 2 weeks. During that period of wondering and simply not knowing I ended up losing my mind and breaking my heart

I have been in previous toxic relationships that ended due to my partner cheating on me several times. That has lead me have some quite tricky trust issues.

Once I returned home I mentioned the whole saga to my boyfriend, which he found quite amusing. He is unaware how deeply this has affected my even with knowing that there was never any real’cheating’ but only accusations

had anyone ever been faced with anything similar? How did you cope? Should I feel guilting for being upset?

[geoff]

Good Morning Bree, and a warm welcome to the site.

As your trust has been broken before, I can well and truly understand your concern, because if this has happened then you never lose that thought, it's always in the back of your mind, not only in your relationship but also with your friends

Can he tell you why he was on the dating site and if innocent but wanted to earn some extra cash then there is no problem, except it's something he should have told you, but if it was the other way around and was looking for someone else then the trust has gone.

You can be annoyed and if you feel uncomfortable then you can check out his phone and the site, but then you're questioning his trust, but then I would be doing exactly that, my curiosity would be too strong.

Has he denied it all, and only did it for publicity to earn some extra cash.

Take care.

Geoff.